Page 2 of Kissed By Shadows

“Nikolai is here?” I ask, a small glimmer of sunshine penetrating the afternoon that seems to have suddenly turned gloomy since the front door was slammed shut.

Nikolai may be a son of the Russian gangsters, but he was a light in my childhood, coming over with his father for business meetings. We were always allowed to play; hide-and-seek wasa favourite game of ours. He was kind, humouring a girl who was six years younger than him and who forced him to play tea parties and dress up.

“Hello, Iris,” a deep voice greets from the stairs, and I twist, my heart skipping a beat as Nikolai comes down them. I’ve had the same reaction ever since I turned twelve and was faced with a gorgeous eighteen-year-old. I haven’t seen him since I was sent away to finishing school six years ago. He’s certainly grown up in that time from a handsome youth to this…god-like man before me.

He’s just as stunning as I remember, stealing the very breath from my lungs with his beauty. He has that same dark hair, cut neatly and slicked in place, and deep, chocolate-brown eyes that used to be full of laughter but now seem cold and unforgiving. His firm, chiselled jaw is tight, and my eyes glance over his navy suit that’s fitted to perfection and hugs every new muscle. Tattoos peek out from his collar, and the backs of his hands and fingers are covered in ink too. A small silver nose stud glints in the light, and there’s something about it that just suits him so well. Plus, nose piercings are hot as fuck on guys.

“Hello, Nikolai,” I breathe out, jumping at the snickers behind me and desperately trying to ignore the predator to the side of me. I keep my focus locked on Nikolai’s, unwilling to look away and begging him to make me understand what’s happening here.

He comes to stand in front of me and all the hairs on the back of my neck stand to attention at his close proximity. His juniper, black pepper, and vetiver scent wraps around me like a forbidden caress, making my lower stomach tighten in want, easing some of the tension from my body. I thought my crush on him was just a young girl’s fantasy, but it’s back with a vengeance, making my skin feel tight and almost allowing me to forget the strange, terrifying situation I appear to be in.

Though I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised because he’s always had a calming effect on me, soothing my tantrums and upsets as a child. He was able to distract me that time I fell from the tree house and fractured my arm when I was ten, visiting me when my arm was in a cast and drawing silly pictures on the plaster.

“Come upstairs,” he orders, his voice gruff with a hint of a Russian accent that I don’t remember from before.I wonder when he got that?I shudder at the note of command in his tone, not exactly hating it.

Nikolai feels just as dangerous as his father now, maybe even more so, but my body refuses to acknowledge anything other than lust as soon as he’s within touching distance. No one has ever made me feel this way before, this need that has my skin tingling, this reaction akin to muscle memory as my body recalls feeling this way ever since I was a young teen and my childish crush developed into something more. I mean, there wasn’t exactly much opportunity at the all-girls school, and I’ve not really been looking for anything since I came back, but still.

My breath stutters when he takes my hand, electricity racing from the point of contact. I haven’t exactly done a great deal of hand-holding with the opposite sex in my time, but it surely doesn’t always feel this…exhilarating, does it?

More chortles sound from who I assume are Sergi’s men behind me. I ignore them—fucking arseholes—and let Nikolai pull me a step towards the stairs, his eyes fixed with mine, his expression hard and unreadable. I whirl when someone takes my phone from my other hand.

“You won’t be needing that, little Iris,” Sergi chides, and I somehow manage to suppress the shudder that wants to roll across my skin at the nickname, his tone cloying like petrol fumes. He still has an infuriating smirk on his deceptively handsome face, and the small amount of tension that had leftmy body at seeing Nikolai again slams back in full force, causing my shoulders to stiffen and my stomach to clench. I want to be the type of person to snarl back at him, but although my father instilled confidence in me, he also made me all too aware of what danger can lie behind a smile when he took me to parties and introduced me to the upper echelons of society.

Sometimes ugliness is hidden behind a veneer of beauty, luring unsuspecting victims to their deaths with a charming smile and pretty words. Sergi’s eyes are the same brown as Nikolai’s but somehow far colder, like mud frozen in the depths of winter. He looks past me to his son and speaks in rapid Russian, Nikolai’s hand tightening in mine. He answers back, again in Russian, so I have no fucking idea what they’re saying.

Giving my hand a tug, Nikolai turns his back, leading me up the stairs in silence, and I find that I can breathe easier with each step, like I’m climbing a mountain and the air is cleaner here, fresher.

“Nikolai, what—” I ask, my mouth clacking shut when he looks over his shoulder with a glare. Hurt makes tears prick behind my eyes; he’s never looked at me like that before, like he would rather be anywhere than here with me, which is not the impression I got from him before I went to Wyndham’s. He made me promise to write to him every week, and he answered each of my letters, telling me what he could of his life. It was the highlight of my week when the post came. Though now looking at him, I wonder how much he left out. We haven’t written since I got back, but surely not that much could have changed in the months since my return?

His face softens for a second, and then he turns away, leading me to my room, where he opens the door, pulling me inside before shutting it and flipping the lock. My heart thuds loudly inside my chest, his palm warm in mine but offering me no comfort as he doesn’t move, still facing the door.

I pull my hand from him, my body quivering as he just stays there, refusing to look at me. “Nik?” I question, using the name I’d call him when I was a child because I couldn’t pronounce his name properly. “What the fuck is going on?” My voice trembles, all the fear and confusion rendering me unable to speak in anything louder than a whisper.

His shoulders suddenly slump as if the weight of the universe has just landed on them. I wait, watching as his hand tightens on the brass doorknob. There’s a pain inside my chest that isn’t just fear of the situation I’m in. It’s a worry for my childhood friend, for the boy with the kind brown eyes who I crushed on for years, as his body screams of a defeat that breaks my heart.

Slowly, like he’s moving through water, he turns to face me. His eyes are tortured, his brows deeply furrowed as he steps closer to me. My breath stills as he swallows hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing under the light scruff that covers his chin and neck.

Then his hand comes up, cupping my chin and tilting it upwards so that I’m forced to look back into his swirling brown eyes. Warmth radiates from his touch, and I want to lean into it, soak it up, but I’m frozen like he was moments before, somehow knowing that what he’s about to tell me will shake my very foundations.

“Your father sold you,Solnishko.”

“EVERYTHING” BY SMNM

NIKOLAI

“W–what?” Her voice is a breathy whisper and my chest tightens at the way her face pales, the realisation hitting her.

“He had a debt he couldn’t pay, Iris, so he made a deal with my father.” My lip curls down at the way they used her like she was no more than an object. Yeah, her father was distraught, but he shouldn’t have gotten into that fucking position in the first place. He never should have put her safety on the line like that, even if it was Sergi’s idea and he baulked when it was first suggested. But he didn’t fight hard enough, even if he did protest and offer up anything else to start with.

“What kind of deal?” she questions, not moving away, and fuck, to touch her like this, to be this close to her after all this time is excruciating, especially given what must happen between us to keep her safe.

“Your life,Malyshka.” I watch as her eyes widen, fear making them shine, and it’s like a punch to the gut to see it directed at me. “He gave you to my father in exchange and left the country to fuck knows where.”

Anger flares hot and bright inside me at the betrayal. How he could have ever left this angel for the wolves, for beasts like us, I’ll never understand. I’ve loved Iris for as long as I’ve known her, from the moment I tripped in their garden when we were kids and she cleaned up my grazed knees, giving me a cookie and showing me a kindness that I got nowhere else. The life I lead is a hard one, and from a young age, my father toughened me up so I’d be ready to take over his mantle when the time came.

“No, Nikolai, he wouldn’t—” She’s shaking her head, stepping away from me, and my heart lurches inside my chest. Then she wraps her arms around herself, and mine twitch, wanting to give her comfort, but how can I when I am part of the problem? “You’re lying.”

“I would never lie to you, Iris,” I say firmly, my jaw clenching. “He sent you a message, did he not?”

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