Page 33 of Tarnished Embers

“Please, Prince.” My voice is barely a whisper, but I know he hears me by the way his nostrils flare, his jaw setting. There’s also a flash of something in his eyes, something that looks a lot like heat.

“Prince—” Cas’s tone is full of pain, a searing agony that I’m struggling to make sense of right now when Prince gives me a nod. All I can focus on is the bliss that the slice of a blade can offer me, and I don’t trust myself to deliver the cut right now. I don’t trust that I won’t take it too far, but I do trust Prince.

“We’ll make sure it doesn’t go too deep, Cas. She needs this, look at her.”

I twist my head slightly, recognising the softness of my bed underneath me as Cas comes into view. He’s sitting on the other side of me, and there’s a fine tremor in his limbs as he stares at the pouch as if it’s poison.

“Please, Cas,” I beg him with every fibre of my being. I need the release from all this torment that’s threatening to drown me. His jaw is hard, his copper eyes locked on mine. He takes a deep inhale, then gives a sharp nod, and my eyelids flutter closed for a moment. “Thank you.”

The bed shifts underneath me, and then his heat presses against my back as he wraps his arms around me and pulls me close.

“But you come back to us after this, okay? Fuck, we’ve been so worried about you, Cinders.” His voice cracks at the end, and my chest tightens as I reach for his hand and tangle our fingers together, using it to eliminate any distance between us.

“I won’t do your arm, Sugar. I’m going to do the outside of your thigh, so you know whose cuts these belong to,” Prince tells me firmly, moving the blanket off me and letting the cool air of the room caress my body. Goosebumps pebble my heated skin, anticipation sending shivers across my nerve endings.

I peer down to see that I’m only in shorts and a tank top, and I wonder how long I’ve been out because I’m sure I wasn’t wearing this the last time I was awake.

“How long have I been…” I don’t know how to finish the sentence. Since I’ve been asleep? Sedated?

“Four days on and off, little sis,” Oct replies in a pained tone, getting onto the bed in front of me. Prince moves further down and lets Oct slip next to me, whose hand cups my jaw, his head dipping before he takes a huge inhale, which given that I haven’t showered in several days, can’t be hugely pleasant, but tension leaves his body as he snuggles closer. I place my free palm on his chest, feeling his steady heartbeat through his cotton T-shirt, allowing it to further calm me.

“Four days, sixteen hours, twelve minutes,” Kit corrects from beyond Oct, his voice sounding choked, and there’s a pain in the back of my throat at how much they’ve suffered over the past few days too.

“I’m sorry,” I tell them, holding Kit’s stormy stare. His blue irises are so dark that they’re almost black, and there are purple smudges under his eyes as if he’s not slept a wink in all that time. His features soften, and he, too, climbs onto the bed, scooting up so that he’s behind Oct, who shuffles lower, my hand slipping from his chest as he rests his head over my heart, between my breasts.

“No apologies needed, Pretty Thing,” Kit tells me, taking my hand and placing a kiss on my palm. “We know what it feels like to lose someone.”

I flinch, and they all tighten their grip on me, the crinkle of paper attracting my attention back to Prince. A small, silver razor blade glints in his fingertips, and my heartbeat picks up, adrenaline making me a little giddy.

Prince looks from the blade to me, his green eyes sparkling. “You ready?”

I’m breathless, anticipation making me tingle all over. “Yes.”

The fingers of his other hand trails down my outer thigh, more goosebumps following in their wake. “Four cuts, one for each of us.” A small smile tugs my lips upward, remembering that’s what I thought the last time I cut myself.

I watch, transfixed, as he lowers the blade, holding my breath when he places its keen edge against my thigh. Cas’s grip tightens on me, and my fingers clenches his as Prince draws the sharp edge across my skin, the flesh parting. A wave of euphoria washes over me, a deep groan leaving my lips.

My eyelids flutter closed as the sharp sting melts into bliss, all of my pain trickling away like the crimson droplets that drip down my thigh. The agony of my father’s death lessens a fraction, dulling as the blade gives me a release.

“You doing okay, Cinders?” Cas asks in my ear, his voice a husky whisper.

“Yes,” I murmur, and I mean it. The fog I’ve been lost in starts to recede from my mind, the agonising heartache decreasing. I moan when Prince cuts again, and this time, the bliss is sharper.

“Little sis,” Oct growls, rubbing his face over my breasts, his hot breath fanning across my nipples even through the tank top, and my breath catches when I feel Cas’s hard length pressing into my arse making my core ache.

Prince makes another cut, deeper this time, and my fingers grip Kit’s and Cas’s hands, my eyes rolling as pleasure explodes across my skin in tiny pinpricks. It’s never felt like this before. Yes, there’s always been the bliss of release when I cut myself, but never this desire, this desperate need. Maybe it’s because they’re here with me, taking charge and administering the cuts rather than me having to face doing them alone, but whatever it is, I want to have them inside me at the same time.

“Please,” I beg, my voice a pleading whine, my thighs clenching together.

“You want Cas inside you the next time I cut you, Sugar?” Prince asks in a low, rasping tone. I open my eyes, the thought of his suggestion flooding my core with so much heat that I can barely breathe. “You want us to help you forget?”

“Yes.” I hold his stare, the others taking in sharp breaths as my answer settles over us. “I want you all.”

“Take her shorts off, Oct,” Prince commands, and fire races across my skin as Oct complies, hissing in pleasured pain when the fabric touches the fresh wounds on my thigh. The pain keeps me in the here and now, keeps me in the present rather than thinking about the grief that looms at the edges of my mind.

“Fuck, she’s already soaked for us,” Oct comments, swiping his finger through my folds, and my hips jerk as pleasure fills my veins.

Oct grabs my thigh, avoiding my cuts and draping my leg over Cas’s hips and Cas’s hard length teases my entrance from behind, his piercing making me so fucking desperate.

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