Page 70 of Tainted Saints

“Looks like you need another shower,mi amorsita.” Blaine chuckles, and I huff a laugh, my nose wrinkling when I feel how sticky I am.

A warm washcloth swiping across my folds has me looking down to see Lan cleaning me up, just enough so that cum isn’t dripping down my skin.

“Dessert first,” I say, and he gives me a breathtaking smile.

“Shower first, then I’ll feed you your tiramisu,” he counters and laughs when I pout at him. “I made you extra.”

“Fine,” I relent, letting Forest help me off the table, my legs once again jelly-like.

Once I’ve showered and am back in Blaine’s T-shirt, we settle in front of the TV where Lan makes good on his promise, feeding me tiramisu until I can’t eat anymore. I fall asleep with my head on his shoulder, my feet in Blaine’s lap, and I can’t help but wish that this was my life always.

ChapterThirty

“when the party’s over” by Billie Eilish

ASPEN

I wakeup with a sense of dread pooling in the pit of my stomach, regardless of the warmth of the men that surround me.

“What is it, Duchess?” Lan asks sleepily from in front of me, clearly having sensed the sudden tension in my body. Unbidden tears fill my eyes, his palm coming to cup my cheek in such a tender way that they spill over my lashes.

“I have to go home today, and…” I trail off, not sure if I can say the words that are stuck in my throat.

“And what, beautiful?” he whispers, his gaze intense but haunted too. Like he’s feeling the exact same way.

I lick my lips. “And it feels like I’m leaving a part of my soul behind.” My words are whispered, quiet in the dim light of what I suspect is very close to dawn. His jaw clenches, his thumb stroking my cheek.

“We’ll lose our heart when you leave, Duchess,” he confesses, and my own heart soars and cracks at the same time. This can’t be a forever thing, this thing between us. My life isn’t my own, and as much as I wish it were, I know that I will always be under the heel of the Ambassador. “But you will come back. We will make sure that this separation is temporary. You belong to us, Aspen. You’re a part of us just like we’re a part of you, and that can’t easily be taken away.”

I want to believe him, and am desperate to have faith in them, but how can I when the Ambassador is just too powerful. I want to confess my love for them, fuck the fact that it’s only been such a short time, but the reality of my situation comes crashing down around me, holding my tongue.

“I should get ready. I need to be back before they are, just in case,” I tell him, my voice cracked and broken, just like my heart will be when I have to put a stop to this fantasy life.

Just a little while longer. I’ll end it after the performance at Maria’s, just give me until then.

With a sigh, he places a light kiss on my lips, then rolls out of bed, helping me out. Forest and Blaine remain asleep, snuggled together in the cutest way that has my heart threatening to explode from my chest.

I shower quickly, going through the motions yet hardly feeling the warm water that traces down my skin. I hate that I’m already so distant, that I’m pulling away even before I’ve left.

Emerging into the main room, I find just Lan, his palms resting on the work surface, his jaw set into a hard line. He looks up, dark eyes full of torment as he takes me in, dressed with my bag at my side.

“Fuck, Duchess. This is…” He lets out a sigh, scrubbing a hand down his face, and my eyes fill with useless tears once more.

“Horrible,” I whisper, and then he’s there, pulling me into his arms as I shed silent tears into his chest.

“It’ll be okay, beautiful. I swear we will get you out of there and with us, whatever it takes,” he murmurs, but it only makes me cry harder.

“I–I don’t want any of you to get h–hurt,” I stutter, my fingers tracing the lines of his chest as if this is more than just a farewell.

“We can look after ourselves, Duchess. He can’t get to us,” he assures me, and I want to believe him, I really do, but how can I when all my life I’ve witnessed the destruction the Ambassador leaves in his wake?

The sound of a car pulling up has me sniffing, wiping my damp cheeks with the back of my hand.

“Is that Bobby?” I ask quietly, pulling back a little but not completely. I need his strength a little longer.

“I called him, thought it would be easier if the others aren’t awake,” he tells me, his voice husky and eyes pained. “We’ll see you tomorrow at school?”

I nod. “And no doubt Forest will try to sneak into my room tonight.” I chuckle, but it’s an empty sound, like leaves rustling against the ground. Lifeless and full of desolation.

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