Page 121 of Forsaken Oath

Margot leans forward, her voice low. “What happened, Louie?”

I exhale, the weight of everything sinking my shoulders. “I pay Levi a monthlyretainer. Should I run into trouble with Darla or Vivie’s school or anything like that, he’ll connect me with a lawyer who’s willing to look the other way on a few things. And since I started the Gauntlet a couple months ago, I haven’t gotten the same jobs as usual.”

“Jesus Christ,” she hushes out, her voice heavy with shock.

“Yeah, I mean, there’s more, but that’s the gist of it.”

She reaches out and grasps my hand. “What are you going to do?”

“What can I do?” I whisper with a helpless sort of shrug. I will my eyes not to water, blinking several times like that’s somehow going to dam up the river of emotion threatening to overrun me.

Can you feel your heart break?

I read a book once, where the girl felt a breakup so acutely she felt like she was experiencing cardiac arrest. It stuck out to me, because I remember thinking how amazing it would be to be loved with such devotion.

Of course, she was a werewolf and her fated mate broke her heart, so it’s not exactly the same.

But maybe it’s the loss of hope. Maybe it’s the knowledge thatI’mgoing to be the one who breaks my own goddamn heart.

Maybe I’m going to break his heart too.

The thought steals my breath, a sharp ache lancing through my chest. Because I know, deep in my bones, that Beau would fight for me. For us. He’d go to war with Seven Pines, with Levi himself, consequences be damned.

And that’s exactly why I can’t let him.

I squeeze my eyes shut, willing the burning tears not to fall. I can’t put him in that position. I won’t let him sacrifice everything he’s worked for, his entire future, for a girl with too much baggage and not enough to offer in return. My heart feels like it’s splintering into a million jagged pieces as the harsh reality settles over me like a shroud.

I have to end things with Beau. Today. Before either of us gets in any deeper. Before I destroy us both.

Margot squeezes my hand, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “Don’t do it.”

I flip my hand over and squeeze hers. “I love you, and I don’t want you to worry about me, okay?”

“Listen to me?—”

“I appreciate you listening to me,” I interrupt her. I already know she’s going to talk me out of it. “I appreciate you so much. And I’d do anything for you and Vivie, you know that, right?”

She’s fuming, anger vibrating around her like a magnetic force. “Yeah? Well, what about your life?”

“I’ll be fine, Margot. I always am,” I reassure her, squeezing her hand. It sounds hollow even to my own ears.

“Why don’t you just talk to Beau? Isn’t he, like, connected? Can’t he help?”

My lips twist into a scowl. “I don’t need a man to run in and rescue me,” I bite out.

She rears back, her eyes narrowing on me slowly. “I know you’re not her, you know.”

I flinch, my eyes welling up with tears I won’t let fall. I fix my gaze on the small chip in the countertop. Use it as an anchor.

“You deserve to be happy, to be with someone who loves you. Don’t throw that away because of Levi’s bullshit.”

I don’t say anything back to her. I don’t even know what to say at this point.

“Jesus, Louie, why am I fighting harder for your relationship than you?”

“You’re not,” I insist, rolling my head from side to side. It’s so tense it’s giving me a headache.

“Oh, I get it now.” Her smile is sad and soft, and I fucking hate it.