Page 64 of Good Pucking Luck

And when he stops to look at me, my heart drops when he says, “I can’t do this anymore.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Rylan

I’ve tried, reallyfucking hard, to ignore this frustrating crush I have on Hayes, but it’s not working. I knew it would be harder after our conversation the other night, when we talked but didn’t take the time to have sex, but today it’s too much to bear.

Sometimes the way he looks at me, the way he talks to me makes me feel like he wants more than friends with benefits too, but then he goes and talks about all the sex he’s going to have with other guys when this is done. He’s got my head all twisted up, and despite the fact that this could fuck everything up when it comes to how I’ve been playing, despite the mental upheaval of possibly working my way through my very first real relationship this close to the end of the season, I don’t have it in me not to go for what I want. That’s just not who I am.

“I’ll, um…get my things.” He turns for the door, and I’m totally confused.

“Where are you going?”

“You just told me you’re done with me!” He throws up his hands. “Sorry if I don’t want to stick around and listen to your annoyingly contagious laugh and see your stupid, cute smile that makes my pulse beat too fast while you tell me all the reasons I didn’t measure up. I realize I don’t have the right to be mad at you for that. At least you’re not pulling a Malcolm and you’re telling me, but—”

“I have a crush on you,” I interrupt him, sounding like a twelve-year-old. I have no idea why I keep using that word—crush—but it’s true.

Hayes frowns, wrinkling up his nose in that cute, confused way that makes me feel melty inside. “I don’t understand,” he finally says.

I walk over to him, Hayes also naked except for the towel around his hips. “I like you.”

“You said you can’t do this anymore.”

“Without strings.”

“Strings?” he asks, like he has no idea what I’m talking about.

“Yes. The things we said we wouldn’t have. I don’t want to just be friends with benefits with you. I want to be your guy.”

Hayes swallows. “My guy?”

I chuckle, hook my finger beneath his chin, and tilt his head up. “Yes. Are you going to just repeat the words I say?”

“Repeat?” he asks, and I grin at his joke, then see when what’s happening washes over him again. His breathing picks up, the pulse in his throat visibly beating against his skin. “I’m so confused.” He tries to pull away, but I take his hand.

“Shh. It’s okay. Let’s go inside and talk.”

Hayes nods, his eyes filled with insecurity, and again, I want to kill The Prick for what he did to Hayes. The truth is, what Malcolm did to him was terrible, but what makes it the worst is that he was the first person Hayes thought ever liked him, the first person he trusted in that way, the first relationship he had, so I understand why it did such a number on him.

We sit down on the couch, and surprisingly, Hayes speaks first. “What about hockey?”

I shrug. “What about it?”

“Aren’t you very specific about your routine?”

“Yeah, but really, what’s going to change except the label we give each other? We’re still going to hang out and text and video chat. Plus, we’ll still be having all the sex…like,so much sex,” I emphasize, making him smile. “I just wanna be able to call youmine, want to be able to introduce you to my parents—whom we have to thank for me realizing my feelings in the first place.”

“What?” He scrambles to face me. “Your parents know about us?”

“Before us, from what I can tell. Mom said I talk about you all the time and sorta helped things click into place.”

He stares at me, shakes his head. “I don’t understand. I thought you didn’t want a relationship.”

My heart feels like it’s going to beat out of my chest. Is that his way of telling me he doesn’t want one with me? “I didn’t…until now…until you.”

He looks down, and I hold my breath, waiting to hear what he’ll say next. “But why me? Not to out myself, but you can do much better.”

My chest aches. “Hey.” I cup his face. “Do you know me? I’m an idiot. I’m the liability in this relationship,” I say, hoping a joke will lighten the mood, but Hayes doesn’t take the bait. “You’re incredible, baby. I knew it that first night. You hooked me then, and you weren’t even trying. I have fun with you. I feel good when I’m around you. You make me smile and turn me on. I feel…differentwhen I’m with you.Better.The biggest question right now is if you feel the same. Everything else, we’ll figure out.”

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