Page 61 of Good Pucking Luck

I wink. “I’ll protect you.”

“You’ve got a great body, but I don’t think it’s a match for a shark.”

“But I have these.” I maneuver myself so I can make my pecs move again, and Hayes laughs.

I don’t mean to let it, but a yawn slips out.

“I hate it when you’re bruised,” he says, looking at my chest.

“You can kiss them better when I get home.”

We talk for a few more minutes, and despite trying to hold it back, I yawn again. I don’t want to get off this call, but if I don’t, I’m going to fall asleep on him. “I’m exhausted. I should go.”

“But we didn’t…”

No, we didn’t, and as much as I love sex with him, even video sex, I don’t need it tonight. What’s going on between us, at least on my end, is about more than just hoping he’ll give me good luck on the ice. “That’s okay. Next time.”

Hayes cocks his head. “Are you sure?”

“Yep. Night, baby.”

“Good night, Rylan.”

I end the call, knowing I’m so incredibly fucked.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Hayes

I’m not proudof the fact that I don’t have the whole self-esteem thing figured out. People like to pretend it’s so easy, or as if you must have a reason for everything, but really, even before Malcolm, I lacked in that department. It’s part of why Malcolm was able to do what he did to me. The rest of it was because he’s an asshole who likes hurting people, but I digress. Back to the self-esteem. The truth is, I can’t stop obsessing over Rylan and I not having sex on our video call, and a not-so-quiet voice in my head tells me it’s because he doesn’t need me anymore, that he’s realized the math isn’t mathing and thinks their win-loss record would be the same without me. It’s not like they never lose a game and maybe he’s lost interest.

That should be okay with me. Sure, I still haven’t topped yet, but we’ve had lots of sex. I’m much more experienced now, so I should be able to take that knowledge out into the world and show other men everything I’ve learned. I shiver. The thought of Rylan and I ending this early makes me feel cold inside.

Makes me feel alone.

Which isnotwhat’s supposed to happen. At all.

This is supposed to be easy, and I’m not sure it is.

But then I remember his softbabybefore we got off our video call. That’s my sex name, and we weren’t having sex. Hearing that made tendrils of excitement curl in my gut while also making me want to run as far and as fast as I can. Letting myself fall for Rylan isn’t an option. All I would do is get hurt, and after Malcolm, I don’t know how to risk that.

I might wish I knew how, though.

My head is an exhausting place to be sometimes.

My thoughts plague me the whole way to Rylan’s place. There’s a bag sitting beside me in the passenger seat: beach clothes and things I’ll need to stay overnight. It feels so…boyfriend-y and—no! Stop that! Shut those thoughts down right now.

I park in front of his house, grab my things, and get out. Just seconds after I knock, the door pulls open, and Rylan is there, wearing that huge grin he always has and swim trunks. “Do you have something against shirts?” I tease.

“Are you complaining?” he tosses back. I take in all his golden skin, mottled with bruises, his strong pecs that I like so much, and his abs that make him look like he’s sculpted from stone, and I swallow a lump in my throat. Rylan laughs. “That’s what I thought.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t.” He steps aside to let me in, kissing me on the cheek as I pass, then closes the door behind me.

It doesn’t mean anything. I don’t want it to mean anything.

I jump when an unexpected smack comes down on my ass. “Get changed. It’s a perfect seventy-two degrees today, and I’m ready to go have some fun.”

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