Page 70 of Promised in Blood

“So stop me.”

I shake my head as he searches deeper, into the darkest recesses and the memories I keep hidden. “I can’t,” I insist.

“Because you are not trying,” he snaps.

My mouth goes dry. My blood screams in my ears. And then I see him. My father. “No!” I shout. Alexandros has seen these memories before, but I feel a sense of shame in allowing him to see them again.

“These are the memories you refuse to relive, Xavier.”

“Yes.” I grit out the word.

“Perhaps we should relive them now?”

My eyes fly open, and I find him staring at me. His expression is entirely unreadable. I shake my head. “I’m sorry, sir. I’ll never question you again. Please don’t do this.”

“Stop me, Xavier. Close the door, and I will not be able to force you to relive them.”

I screw my eyes closed again as images of my father swim through my mind. His face twisted in disgust. The hateful bile he spewed at me. The way he couldn’t even bear to hit me that time, too disgusted to lay a hand on me again. My heart is racing so fast it’s going to beat out of my chest.

“Stop!” I plead with Alexandros, but he keeps pushing, forcing me to replay that horrible day over and over.

“Stop me,” he growls.

I drop to my knees, rubbing at my temples as I try to scrub away the images. “I can’t.”

And he’s there again, screaming at me and telling me how disgusting I am. An abomination he should have smothered at birth. I feel a splinter of wood spearing my skin as he beat me with the leg from the dinner table.

“No!” I scream the word aloud while chanting it over and over in my head, no longer sure who I’m screaming it at—Alexandros or my father. Did I simply swap one monster for another? But at least Alexandros has always been clear about what he is. He’s never pretended to be something he’s not.

You can fight it, Xavier. His voice fills my head.

Tears run down my face. “I can’t.”

I’m being pulled to my feet. Strong hands rest on my shoulders. “Yes, you can. Close the door and shut me out.”

But I’m too weak. Too weakened by the man who haunts my nightmares. The man I called father a long time ago. I’m falling forward, but I don’t hit the floor. Instead I face-plant into solid muscle. Alexandros is no longer in my head, and the memoriesdisappear, locked once more inside the vault I kept them in. Only I didn’t put them back there this time. He did.

I open my eyes, and he’s holding me upright. Disappointment threatens to swallow me whole. I’m such a fucking failure. Maybe my father should have smothered me when I was born.

“You did well, Xavier.” The deep timbre of Alexandros’s voice soothes the tremors in my body.

I didn’t. I let him down. Just like I eventually let everyone down.

He runs a hand over my hair, pulling me close to his chest, and I drink in his unique scent. It is both comforting and intoxicating at the same time. “Next time,” he says quietly. Then his arms are gone, and he walks out of the room.

When I’m sure my legs will carry me, I leave the den and head to find her. To find the comfort that only she can bring me. I crawl into bed and wedge myself between Malachi and Ophelia. Wrapping an arm around her waist, I bury my face in her hair.

“Are you okay?” she whispers.

“I am now.”

“What did he do?” Her voice quivers.

“He just taught me a lesson, that’s all.”

“What kind of lesson?”

Pursing my lips, I will my voice to remain even. “A valuable one.” I drape one leg over her, pulling her into my body like a pitcher pulls his arm into his chest before his best pitch. Pain and regret still linger at the edge of my consciousness. “Tell me you love me, Ophelia.”

---