Page 137 of Tangled in Knots

“The second you were shot, my heart exploded in shock, and remade itself to include you. Taking care of you, being the person you depended on… No matter how I say this, it’s fucked up. I lied to myself every day, telling myself I had to do this to keep you safe. I believed it right up until the auction house. By then, it was too late to stop things.”

“I was fucked from the moment you took me from my home,” Adira counters. “Rock’s sick form of revenge influenced everyone around him, and Jed led the way, believing it was the only way to keep you all safe. It doesn’t make it right.”

“I didn’t say it did,” I sigh. “I don’t know how to describe the feelings inside of me. Every night after I walk behind you on the way home, I ask myself if the world would be better without me in it. If I could do something so heinous to such a perfect creature, then?—”

Adira is fast as she stomps on my foot, yanks my tie, and slaps the fuck out of me. Her nose is right against mine as her lips peel back, snarling at me.

“Are you really that much of a coward that you don’t want to live with your choices?” she asks. “Everything you did to me was a fucking choice. Except the stage. I know as well as you do that you were drugged to be more aggressive, a puppet forced to perform. I don’t trust you, but I’m willing to admit at least this.”

“Really?” I rasp, holding onto the last part. “Rock would have made things so much worse if I didn’t make it look real, but then it spiraled when the auctioneer started making demands.”

“I didn’t know he did that,” she sighs. “It’s all hazy, even when I dream about it.”

Uncaring of who may be around, I drop to my knees, her fist still wrapped in my tie. “Apologies seem weak and paltry, but you have mine,” I rasp. “My knife, my gun, my hands are yours for whatever you need or want. It’ll never be enough.”

“It won’t,” she says. “I don’t trust myself. Nothing seems like the right choice. What if I fuck up again and end up back on that stage?”

“You won’t,” I promise. “There are people who won’t allow that to happen, including me. I swear it, though my words are shit in your eyes. My job was to make you believe that I was on your side.”

“Which is why I don’t trust myself,” she growls. For such a small omega at five-foot-two, she’s still fierce. I can see the spark Kane talked about, and decide to flame it.

“Yes, you can,” I insist. “The only person you believe you can’t trust is me. What if I fixed that?”

“What are you talking about?” Adira asks, scowling. “I’m not a mind reader, and never will be. Maybe a little empathic, but I’m clearly broken when it comes to you, or I’d have known you were hiding things from me.”

“I don’t know if it’ll work, but if you bond with me, you’ll know if I’m lying. Thoughts may not be as clear. Yet, I won’t be able to hide from you even if I wanted to,” I insist.

I didn’t think I’d be begging her to bite me, but it feels right. She needs to believe in herself for what’s coming if she’s going to help us kill Rock. I want to give her back the ability to trust her instincts. They’re important, they’ll keep her alive.

Jed is giving her his leash, then I’ll give her my life to do with what she wants.

“Morris,” Adira says, eyes blown with shock. “You don’t?—”

“I owe you everything for what I did to you,” I rasp. Letting everything I’ve been feeling wash over me, I rip off the damn mask to gaze up at her. Adira flinches at the burst of motion, skittish around me, and again I feel as if I’m dying.

Even when we kidnapped her out of her neighborhood home, she ran when she felt she had to and fought in equal measures. She weighed the options, and then carried out her decisions with precision.

I don’t know any other crazy omega who’d strangle Kane with the very rope Damon tied her with.

The wildness inside of her is something I want to protect. She's perfect in every way, but the fear in her eyes needs to be burned away with a fire I’m willing to give her.

Dropping my mask, I lift my hand toward her.

“Do it,” I insist, tears sliding down my face. I’ve only ever cried in private, my tears a symbol of my shame and frustration. All of a sudden I need her to do this.

None of this is fair.

“It may not work,” she says gently, taking my hand. “My emotions may make this worse. I keep Damon awake at night.”

“I don’t sleep either way,” I whisper. “Maybe we can talk to each other while we’re awake.”

Her green eyes glitter with danger and sadness in equal parts. This will change everything.

Slowly licking her lips, she gazes at my palm.

“Do it, Adira,” I groan. “Please.”

Straightening, she’s still short enough that I can reach up to her face while I’m on my knees. I see a glint of something on her thigh, slowly reaching out with my other hand, I push away the material.