Page 77 of Tangled in Knots

“Thank you,” I whisper. I don’t think I’d have been able to open up if there had been a lot of people around. “Can you tell me about the aptitude test?”

“There’s one on the computer,” Wren says. “We’ve been working with someone to make it more accurate for omegas because our minds work differently. I remember how frustrated I was when I took one almost a year ago. It didn’t help at all.”

“You figured it out,” Aisling teases her. “You can take it while we wait for the nurse to come in if you’d like?”

After the dump of emotional trauma, I feel as if I need to do something to redirect myself. I don’t want to wallow.

“I would,” I tell her, standing as she does. Unfortunately, my legs feel like jello from sitting for so long, and I fall right back down. “I really hate how shaky I am.”

“You haven’t used your muscles in a while,” Wren reminds me, helping me back up. “Work up to getting stronger, three weeks of being forced to sleep doesn’t come without repercussions.”

The reminder makes me nod, forcing myself to stay upright as I walk with them to the computer lab. Once I’m there and working my way through questions, I start to feel as if I’m working toward something.

It’s silly, because it’s just a test, but maybe it’ll help me figure out what I want to do with my life.

Even if I didn’t have a pack with all of these issues, I would still need money and financial security. I can’t live here forever, and I refuse to take help forever. One step at a time is enough.

I just hope they’re steps in the right direction.

Glaring at the screen, I ask myself if this is some odd joke.

“What does it say and why is it pissing you off?” Aisling asks, Wren not far behind.

“It just doesn’t make sense to me,” I mutter. “Good with people is a joke, because I don’t know if I’ll ever crack a smile for the rest of my life. I also don’t understand how I have good communication skills. Basically, the assessment says I would either be a good bartender, tax accountant, because I’m good with numbers, or that I should go to school for continued education.”

“It’s not perfect still, but I’ve never seen it be so vague,” Wren grumbles in solidarity. “The bartending and going back to school could work together, though. There are scholarships available that you could apply for too.”

A part of me feels wrong taking a scholarship. I’m not sure why, but if I can make the money I’ll need to go back to school, then I should.

“You also don’t have to smile in order to make good tips as a bartender,” Aisling says. “I bartended for a couple of years, and people want to know that you can give them drinks efficiently and do your job. That’s it.”

“So many people,” Wren says, shaking her head. “Aisling said that all the scents would get to her while bartending, so she’d use an alpha gel to block it, so she could work.”

“That part sucked,” Aisling admits. “I was sixteen when I started bartending and that’s basically when omegas are in the middle of puberty and struggling not to slick every two seconds.”

“I apparently missed that part of puberty,” I say, shaking my head.

“Same,” Wren agrees. “The suppressants keep all of that away, and you weren’t around people. Alphas have a way of being a large presence, affecting you without realizing it.”

“I’m open to the gel if it’s needed, but I can’t really be influenced by alphas,” I explain. “The alpha bark doesn’t work on me at all, and I don’t think I’ll be attracted to someone for a long time. If ever.”

“Valid,” Aisling says with a nod. “I have an in with a bar if you want me to ask if he needs anyone? He watches out for his people.”

“There’s Cerenity too, if he doesn’t,” Wren adds. “Basically, we can help you find a job if you want it.”

“I do,” I say with a nod. “Would it be odd to start studying drinks, so I don’t completely suck at this?”

“Study away,” Aisling says with a nod. “Wren is leaving in a few minutes. Shaw wants his mate back.”

“Well it’s nice of him to share,” comes out of my mouth before I can stop it and Wren bursts out into laughter.

“It was,” she says. “I’ll tell him, stroke his ego a bit. I may make it a habit to come up here more often. Today wasn’t as overwhelming as it can be.”

“Now we know how to make it work,” Aisling says with a shrug.

Watching them support each other makes me happy. I hope I can find people who care about me even when I'm a mess. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel normal, but maybe that’s overrated. My life has always been lonely and full of rules. It’s hard to imagine being free to make my own decisions.

No alphas telling me what to do or when. It’s hard to picture.

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