Page 58 of Tangled in Knots

I’m not okay. I feel used, abused, and thrown away by people who biology says are supposed to give a damn about me.

“Fuck biology,” I rasp, my words sounding like gunshots in the quiet shower.

The place inside of me that has all of these emotions that aren’t my screams and rails, but I recognize one word.

“Mine.”

I shake my head violently, soap flying as I do. I’m arguing with a voice in my head. Fucking wonderful. I don’t want to belong to anyone.

The whine my lips emit is unintentional, and I despise that there's so much about my body that I can’t control as an omega. It responds to stimuli, craves the things that make it feel safe, but that’s a lie.

Nests aren’t safe unless you have locks on the doors that alphas can’t break into. The world isn’t fucking fair.

I gaze at the floor for way longer than even I know, but the water slowly begins to get cold. Shivering, I get off the floor at the speed of an old woman. Everything hurts, and I’m still not fucking clean.

I struggle not to disassociate as I condition my hair and wash my skin with the body wash. Even these products smell nice and light, in fact there’s almost no scent, and that makes warning bells go off in my mind. Why would they have all of this? Are they secretly into using products that would make an omega happy?

Did they plan in the hopes they would place the winning bid, or was the whole damn thing rigged?

I’m shaking by the time I’m done with my shower, but it’s with a growing rage. I can use anger, while the fear, and devastating sadness I’ve been feeling does me no favors. Ineed emotions that will help me fight through tonight’s events. There’s a lot I’ll need to unpack at some point, and I know that. It’s just all too close right now.

I can’t afford to sit in a ball of tears, sobbing until the next bad thing happens to me. I am so tired of being a victim. I want to be proactive, and if things are incredibly terrible; the one who ends it all.

The bubble of anger and sadness in me at those thoughts doesn’t belong to me. Is Damon raging? It’s interesting that I’m able to make him dance to my tune when I’m feeling things strongly enough, but I can’t afford to stop and play with him. It also isn’t as much fun if I can’t see the way he screams when I squeeze his knot.

Turning off the water, I open the glass door to snag a towel. I notice a pair of sweats that I didn’t before, and I wonder if someone came inside while I was losing my shit. Shuddering at the thought, I dry myself off and walk gingerly to the pile of clothing.

It’s a pair of joggers in my size, a long-sleeved shirt, a sweatshirt, socks, and a pocket knife.

My fingers close over it with furrowed brows, very confused. It’s sitting at the marble counter where I brushed my teeth, and I’m sure I’d have seen it if it was here before. Glancing at the door and then the shower, I shake my head as if to make myself focus.

Putting my hand on the knob, I turn back toward it, twisting it to find the door is unlocked. Fuck. These alphas and their dirty mouths are rubbing off me. I swear I’ve never used so many curse words before.

Flicking the lock so it’s engaged again, I get dressed, almost thankful there isn’t a bra or panties in the bundle of clothing. I don’t think I’d be able to handle that. So much of this feels coincidental, and I need answers as to why.

Gazing at the mirror, I see myself with wet hair and a covered body. I nod. The last thing I do is slide the knife into my pocket and reach out to unlock the door.

Ready or not, here I come.The words feel as if they’re more for me, than as a danger to anyone else. I need to be ready for whatever happens next.

Despite how my heart pounds.

Duncan and Callum are leaned against the wall as I open the door, grim looks on their faces.

“I was half worried the water would wash you away,” Duncan says gravely, his arm sweeping in the direction of the stairs. “I need to get you fed before Callum and I crawl out of our skin. It’s a need, not a want, Adira. Please.”

Nodding as I rub my aching stomach, I walk out of the bathroom to follow them.

CHAPTER 15

KANE

It took way too long to get out of the damn auction house, and now we’re driving an hour to the Kelly’s home. Morris is going down back roads and winding deserted streets, because we’re all paranoid that somehow, we’re going to get caught.

I want to tell the paranoia to go fuck itself. I need to see her, talk to her.

Demon is grunting in pain next to me, and I turn to glare at him.

“Dude, what the fuck? You sound like you have to take a shit,” I growl.

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