Page 215 of Tangled in Knots

I need to quiet my thoughts, find a way to center myself. I know Morris told me it’ll all be alright, but I can’t help but feel the need to make one more podcast before Callum, Duncan, and I settle in for the night.

Sighing, I start walking toward my recording studio.

“Don’t forget your water,” Duncan says, handing me what he enjoys calling ‘my emotional support bottle.’ He bought it to make sure I stay hydrated when I’m here, and it’s black with pink hearts.

I love it, even though he’s obnoxious about reminding me to hydrate. Turning, I take the bottle with a smile, absently taking a sip as I make way to the closet, that is now my favorite place in the house.

I’ve made eight podcasts since I started my account on Omega Link. Emilia hasn’t been too pleased with my content, but she can suck eggs. There’s been another podcast posted for every episode I’ve made in response to mine.

Well, I hope she chokes on this one.

Opening the door, I switch on the light as I step in and go through my ritual of making sure the door is shut behind me, firing up the laptop, fixing my chair, and going through a quick test to ensure that both my microphone and voice changer works.

Finally, I take a deep breath and hit record on my computer.

“I’m here because I recognize a lot of people feel stuck,” I begin, biting my lip. “They may worry about where they fit in, what they should do next, or if they’ll ever be able to really live, because a gilded cage is still a cage.”

Picking up the fidget spinner, Aisling gave me, that rarely leaves this room anymore, I shrug as I think.

“Your designation doesn’t necessarily have to be all that you are,” I say. “I bought my first home this week, I’m in college taking classes, and I regularly refuse to follow what society says I have to. Take the job across the country if it’s what you want to do, join the dating app if you’re looking for love, or a passing fling. Live your life, because we only get so much time to enjoy it.”

Blinking furiously, I swallow back the tears I can feel building. I will not fucking cry.

“It’s normal to worry about doing the right thing, and if you’re looking for guidance, I can’t tell you if I'm qualified for that or not,” I say honestly. “All I can say is that I’m just like you, trying to figure out what the next step in life is. Failure, mistakes, missteps are part of that. Make a choice instead of feeling paralyzed in fear, because that’s not living either.”

My finger pushes the spinner up and down silently as I think, a lone tear running down my cheek.

“I’m making this podcast because I know what true terror is,” I explain. “I’m sitting with it now, because I’m walking head first into a situation that will either solve everything or kill me. That sounds awfully overdramatic, huh? I wish I had that flare that some people do where everything is overhyped, but I don’t. Instead, I know I’m possibly making my last podcast.”

Sweep up, round and round.My thumb rolls the spinner as the thoughts in my mind tumble like the setting on a dryer.

“Am I scared? Yeah, I really am. It doesn’t matter how prepared I am to push through this, a bullet to the brain will stop me. Same as anyone else,” I mutter. “I’m not great company tonight, I’m afraid. So, I’ll leave you with this: find one thing that scares the hell out of you that’s necessary to your continued existence and do it. If you listen to this podcast, tell me what you did in the comments. If I survive this, I’d love to read them.”

My finger trembles as I hit stop on the recording, and I close my eyes as I sob. I just need to get it out, be done with it, and then move on.

I can survive anything one step at a time, as long as I continue to breathe.Come on, Adira.

Once I’m able to make my fingers work, I upload my podcast to my account on Omega Link and shut down my computer.

I’m wiped out and just want to watch mindless television. I’ll probably pass out, so I’ll also ‘get ready’ for bed.

It helps that as I shut off the light and step out of the room, Duncan is in the hallway waiting for me with open arms.

Rushing into his embrace, I hear his deep breath and he squeezes me tightly. This is just as hard for Pack Kelly; the knowledge that they’re going to have to let Pack Dresmond take me.

“You’re going to give me gray hair, Short Stuff,” he mutters. “Let's get ready for this shit show of a night.”

I don’t know if there’s such a thing.

KANE

It feels like deja vu in a way as my brothers and I sneak onto Pack Kelly’s property. Since they know what we’re doing, they pretended to be fixing part of their fence, but really just removed it from being electrified.

The three of us leap over the fence without an issue, creeping silently to the back door to break in. We’re dressed in black clothing, boots on our feet, and black ski masks on our faces, as we move to do our jobs.

Duncan did arm the alarm, but Morris hacked in from the SUV to disconnect the back door from the grid. That’s why we chose this door.

Damon makes quick work of unlocking the door with his tools, and then the three of us are silently moving through the house, to where Adira is sleeping on the large couch with Duncan and Callum. It appears that they are actually sleeping, which works for us.

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