Page 174 of Tangled in Knots

Aisling knows the full story of what happened, because Duncan told her, and she met me at the hospital on Sunday when I went in to see Dr. Royal. The doctor was really nice, professional, and asked if I needed to also file a police report. Aisling softly told him that it had been handled, which he took at face value.

The criminal underbelly of Minneapolis seemed to be accepted so easily by him. I’m sure the emergency room brings in lots of different people, and it would be difficult for him to do his job if he judged everyone harshly.

“I kind of am, but I’m also tied up in so many questions and uncertainty.” I sigh. “It feels as if I’m paralyzed.”

“Let’s start with the plotting, and then we can untangle the ball of knots I can see you tangling yourself up in,” she says.

Looking through her desk, Aisling pulls something out. “I took up knitting to help with the need to always be doing something, but a spinner may help too,” she says, handing me a metallic blue fidget spinner.

Accepting it, I find rolling and twisting it between my fingers helps the clawing anxiety of my racing thoughts.

“What if I did tell people?” I say softly. “Did I tell you yet that ROWS has a podcast to tell omegas the right and wrong way to act in society?”

“No, but Dad told me when I went to brunch with him a few days ago,” she grumbles. “He filled me in on how you’re now on the senior member council. How the hell he managed that is beyond me. They give me a headache, though, and mafia politics are something I only involve myself in when I have a reason to.”

“I unfortunately have to be involved, so the old men will act right,” I tell her. “It took a lot of time to get them to agree to work with me and back, Pack Dresmond.”

“Are you including yourself in their pack?” Aisling asks.

“No,” I mutter. “I found out some more details about why they did what they did, but I’m not ready yet.”

“Shaw says you can maybe push your heat another two months at best before the pills stop working, but I want to hear about your plans to fuck over ROWS,” she says, both delivering the bad news and softening the blow.

Two months. I hate biology so much. It doesn’t seem like enough time. Forgiveness feels like such a big step.

Taking a deep breath, I nod. “I’m considering making a podcast where I post anonymously with people’s stories, discussing real world issues omegas should be aware of, and debunking ROWS’ fake advice.”

“Oh my God, yes,” Aisling says, eyes wide. “Is it going to be just a podcast?”

“It’s like you know that I enjoy biting off more than I can chew,” I grumble. “I think I want to start with the podcast, piss off ROWS, and continue going to school with a major in digital marketing. I want to create a referral website for businesses that work well with omegas.”

“My life would be so much easier if that existed now,” she whines. “Can’t we skip to the good part?”

Laughing, I can feel my body beginning to unwind. Somehow, Aisling always manages to help me navigate the noise in my mind, even when it’s simply with humor.

That means a lot for a girl who finds it hard to express herself these days.

“I ask myself that often,” I admit. “In the meantime, you can help me stockpile business cards. This really started as a way to poke holes in ROWS’ propaganda, but I’m really excited about it now. There’s so much bad information out there about our designations.”

“Have you thought about maybe doing doctor spotlights?” Aisling asks, eyes lighting up. “Debunk the bullshit about our biology.”

“I haven't, but I will as long as I can stay anonymous,” I tell her.

“I think you should be able to. I love this idea. Now, on to a more immediate question. Are you moving out? You don’t need to feel as if you have to,” Aisling says.

“I feel guilty for holding a bed when I haven’t been here all week, but I need a space that I can call mine,” I say. “It’s silly to say this. My little room is something I’ve claimed.”

“It’s not silly,” she says. “Omegas are possessive and need their own space. No one is going to make a big deal about your face. I’ll go back there and say something.”

“You don’t have to do that.” I sigh. “I just finished exams and I’m so tired. I may go and nap in my room. Morris dropped me off, so I could come talk to you.”

“You looked so nervous when you walked in, Adria. Life is filled with varying shades of gray, especially for us,” she says. “I’m sure people wouldn’t understand my relationship with my mates if they knew everything we’ve been through. I’m not ignoring the mistakes we all made, I’m choosing to love my pack in spite of them.”

Huh. “I think that’s what I’m struggling with,” I say. “How do I make my peace with what happened to me?”

“You watch how they treat you now,” Aisling says, gazing at me fiercely. “Do they worship the ground you walk on? Are they going to murder their father to keep you safe forever? Will they judge you, for putting yourself in a position, where you will never be at another person’s mercy? Dad said the way you killed your attackers was a thing of beauty. It’s high praise, Adira. Only you can decide what you’re able to make your peace with.”

With that, she stands. “I’ll walk you back. I need a little chat with them, anyway. People have been finding things missing in their rooms,” she explains.

---