“Don’t hurt yourself now,” I mutter. He snorts, while Jed looks between us with confusion.
“I’ll see if I can get you in with some of the families,” Duncan says with a sigh. “I introduced Adira, and she was received well tonight. She will never play second fiddle to anyone.”
“Of course not,” Jed murmurs. “I’m very confused about what’s going on here.”
“There’s something that happens when you help someone in a traumatic experience,” Callum says. “Adira is ours. You’re an asshole, and she needs someone to remind her of how incredible she is. She will never crawl for anyone.”
“Never,” Jed repeats. “Stand with me then and rule by my side.”
“Wait. What?” I ask. This is already moving too fast. I want off this ride, please.
His hands move to my thighs, rubbing them gently.
“Duncan told you to breathe,” he reminds me.
“I don’t do what alphas tell me to,” I snark, forcing myself to breathe. I don’t want to pass out simply to prove a point. “I don’twant to be a pawn in the middle of things either. I want to get my life together and figure out who I am outside of the mafia, machinations, and drama.”
“Damon is in school to do the same, Adira,” Jed says. “We’re not going to lead the way Dad did. We want to have a legitimate branch Damon will run. He never wanted this life, but Dad forced him. You’re not the only one my father has twisted and tried to destroy. We’re aware, we see it, and we’re trying to fix things.”
“What if you can’t?” I ask him. “I can see that he’s trying, but Damon can’t just fix everything for me. He slipped a computer into my bag the first week of school when he noticed I didn’t have one. It was sweet, but he can’t buy me.”
Jed remains on his knees, shrugging. “Damon doesn’t see money like that. He wants to help you be successful, and an equal playing field is important to him. He can easily buy another, and it's a gift that doesn’t come with strings. Keep it. Failure isn’t an option for me,” he says.
“It’s not a pride situation, it’s simply that you’re too special to lose. My brothers and Morris are important to me too, and I thought I had to choose.”
Morris’ name makes me flinch, and Jed stills. “We fucked up,” he growls. “Morris was in an impossible situation, but in his head he thought he’d be able to spare you if he was involved.”
“I don’t think you can call what happened on that stage as ‘sparing’,” Callum rasps. “I need to touch base with her several times a day to remind myself she’s alive and here. It’s a hyper fixation I didn’t know was possible, but here we are.”
“If she goes too long without responding, I call her,” Duncan confesses. “I’m two seconds away from putting a tracker in her ass.”
“I’m right here,” I complain. “Leave my ass alone.”
“You three are so odd,” Jed mutters, slowly standing. “It looks as if I’m stuck with you two, so here’s the thing. I don't know how to fix this, Adira. There are so many different strings connecting us, the most important one is Damon. He needs you the most.”
“Then he can prove that he does,” I sigh. “You threw me away in my eyes, and a cockamamie excuse that you did it for my own damn good won’t fly. I’m not the same person anymore. What happened changed me.”
“My brother is very persistent and persuasive, little omega,” Jed says, pushing my hair away from my face. “We all are. Morris is staying away because of the guilt he feels. It’s so large, I have to take away his weapons when he gets home from stalking you home after work. I can feel his thoughts?—”
“She doesn’t need to know that,” Callum barks. “Adira’s heart is too big, she doesn’t need to be swayed into sympathy. Morris can sit in the guilt. Your job is to make sure he lives long enough to fix things.”
My eyes grow large as I begin to read through the lines. Guilt, depression, intrusive thoughts are something I understand. Except, instead of guilt, it’s overwhelming shame.
“Good night, Jed,” Duncan adds.
“She’ll be with you tonight?” Jed asks, backing away.
“Yeah,” Duncan agrees.
“I’m sorry I disturbed your night, Adira. I wasn’t going to say anything to you, but it didn’t quite go the way I thought it would,” he says. Turning, the darkness swallows him up just as quickly as he appeared.
“It never seems to go the way he thinks it will,” Callum mutters. “Grab your things, Adira. We’ll make a big bed with the couch cushions in the den.”
Nodding, I walk away from them, my mind tangled in knots as I think. Rock really is going to be killed, which is what Damon told me. How much more is real and true?
DAMON
My history class is only bearable because Adira is in it. The teacher is dry as toast, and equally boring. It’s a struggle this early to stay awake and aware, but I force myself to take notes on my new computer. She hasn’t mentioned my old one, and I wonder why.