Page 93 of Crave Me

After the mortification wore off, I was able to think with a clear head. Being thrust into a situation like we were, I was forced to come to terms with everyone knowing that I was sleeping with my boss. I don’t know how long I was going to put off telling people, but I know that I definitely didn’t want anyone to find out quite like that. But I know the feelings I have for him are real. They’re new, but I recognize them for what they are.

I love him.

I park my car in my usual parking spot behind Rogue and walk around to the front to see if Reid is free to talk. Walking into the tattoo shop is always like taking a time machine to a different world. Aspen Ridge is fairly whimsical. Every place has a different vibe, and nothing is ordinary. Bean Haven is very boho chic, while Barrel House screams speakeasy, Book Bound is a woodland fairytale, and The Night Owl is very Manhattan bar scene.

But going into Rogue? It’s like walking into an art gallery. Clean black and white lines, and framed artwork covers every inch of wall space in various sized and shaped frames. There’s a reception area in front of floor-to-ceiling glass windows and a single door. The floor, which is more like a round fishbowl, hasseveral stations for various artists, both permanent and guest. It’s amazing and not at all what I expected from a tattoo shop. Especially one in a small town like ours.

The place is empty when I walk in, so I open the big door to the floor to find Reid.

“Hellooooo?”

Reid pops out of his office, glasses on his face and iPad in his hand, looking happy to see me.

“Hey, B, what’s up?”

“Got a second to talk?”

“Always, what’s going on?”

“I know you know about me and Dallas, and I’m not mad you told him where I live, so can we skip the weird shit and jump to the present?”

He laughs at me before talking, “Yeah, he’s pretty gone for you, I’m glad I’m forgiven. What happened?”

“His brothers walked in on us at work as we were finishing up . . . you know.”

His head bobs and he runs his fingers through his long hair, seemingly slightly uncomfortable with the conversation.

“We may have torn down this huge room filled with old barrels. Like, they came crashing down. Then all of his brothers ran in. Everyone was arriving for work and must have heard it. The freaking ground shook under us, I swear.”

Reid starts laughing and then starts apologizing for laughing.

“It’s not funny, you big jerk!”

“So, what’s the issue besides being embarrassed?”

“Well, I wasn’t ready for his family to find out we were sleeping together.”

“Is that all you’re doing?”

I nervously cross and uncross my legs, unsure what to say.

“Look, you need to decide how you’re feeling and let him in on it because he’s a total goner for you. I’ve never seen Dallasworked up that bad over anything, and when he knew you were upset and he couldn’t get to you? Well, he was dumb enough to try to take his frustration out on me, if that tells you anything.”

“I love him,” I blurt out.

“Yeah. Kinda thought so. So, what’s the reservation?”

“That I won’t be enough for him. That he’ll tire of me being damaged goods. That he’ll leave me and I’ll be all alone again.”

“Listen up. Dallas or no Dallas, you’ll never be alone again because you’ve got people here who care about you. You’ve been here six months and you’ve already buried yourself deep within this community. People love you. I don’t want you worrying about that. You don’t want to live with regrets and fear. I know that more than anyone. So live, because you can. Not everyone gets that option.”

The next day, I wait for Dallas to leave his office before I slip inside, closing the door behind me. I’m so ready to tell this man that I love him that it’s eating me alive. After my talk with Reid, I went home and spent time by myself, soul-searching and thinking about what I want. Reid was right, I need to live. I may have claimed my body back as my own, after years of therapy, but the lasting effects of the trauma I survived have deeper-reaching consequences outside of the physical ones I sustained. I want to live. And not in fear. And I haven’t been doing that.

I slink over to his desk, put the folder down, and shimmy out of my panties, pulling them over my heels and tripping into his desk in the process. I’m so excited to show him my proposal for the events aspect of the distillery, hoping that this will be a hugegesture of my commitment to make him as happy as he makes me.

I take a seat in the chair he loves so much when his computer wakes up from the sleep mode it was on. I recline, kind of loving the feel of it, when I see a file on his computer screen that demands my attention and sends chills down my spine. My palms start to sweat as I study the icon.

Blaire Hollis.

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