Page 80 of Crave Me

“C’mon, Casanova! Move your ass! We got places to be!” I yell from the entryway.

By the time we’re pulling in, parking is a nightmare, per usual, but once we find a spot and triple-check that we have everything we need, we get on the shuttle to take us to the lodge. The line to get tickets is longer than I remembered, and I fidget on my feet restlessly, itching to be out on the mountain again. The air is brisk, the sun starting to peek over the mountains, and I know it’s going to be a damn good day.

“Shit,” Carter moans as we near the ticket counter.

“What now?”

“I forgot my wallet.”

“Are you kidding me right now?”

“You were rushing me!”

“We waited for ten minutes!”

“There’s nothing we can do about it now, we’re almost through this bullshit line. I’m itching to get out there, so shut the hell up and let’s just survive this,” I tell him.

Once we’re finally through all the bullshit, it all fades to the background, because it’s me and the trail. We got here at opening so the mountain is still quiet and all seems right in the world. We start on an easy one, getting our footing and finding that muscle memory that hasn’t been used in a year. The moment I’m heading out on my board, a rush of adrenaline engulfs me. The crisp, cool air fills my lungs as I look through my goggles at the pure white, flawless powder in front of me.

We start to pump it up after that, branching out. By the third run, we head to the natural halfpipe off the C5 chairlift and it’s like coming home. I’m in my element. With every turn and leap, the world melts away behind me. I live for this.

Sitting next to Sawyer on the next lift, I use it as an opportunity to check in with him. Something that both of us have sucked at the last few months. I wish I could come clean to him about Blaire, but I know she’s not ready yet and I’ll be damned if I betray her trust.

“How are you feeling about becoming a dad?”

“Ready for her to be here, honestly.”

“Wait,her?”

“Oh shit, yeah. It’s a girl. Don’t repeat it. Ivy wants it to be a surprise.”

“That’s amazing, man. I’ve never seen you happier, I’m happy for you.”

“Still doesn’t feel real some days. I wasn’t living, you know? Just kind of existing because I had to. I don’t think I’ll ever take for granted waking up next to her after losing her.”

“Well, you made damn sure that you won’t. Put that baby in her quick.”

“First time I had her again,” he says with a laugh, “I told her and gave her options, but fuck if I was going waste any time using something like condoms. I love her, swollen with my baby inside her. I’ll fuckin’ do it again as soon as she’s healthy enough to carry another one.”

“You’re a freak, you know that?”

But even saying the words, I can’t help but imagine what it would be like to settle down with Blaire and watch her stomach grow with my child in it. I’m in no way ready for that now, but I wonder if she wants kids and how many. She said all she wished for was a family, and now I feel the desire to know more.

“Remember when Kins was a baby?”

“How could I not? She was so good and sweet. Everything that’s right and perfect in the world.”

“Now look at her. Feral little gremlin.”

“Hey, we made her that way. At least she can hold her own.”

We both laugh and I wonder if she’s using the time we’re away to lose her mind a bit. Even when she was at college, one of us was always checking in on her, never quite giving her the freedom to do whatever she wanted. Overprotective dicks, but we love her too much to let anything happen to her.

After two more runs, we’re ready for food and a drink.

“Which lodge for food?” Liam asks on the way out.

“Heather Meadows,” I tell him.