Page 55 of Crave Me

“I am. I really love it here. Who wouldn’t fall in love with this area? It’s perfect.”

“Aaaand what about a certain Cole Barnes?” she says with a wink, and I bristle, unsure how to answer. I don’t want anyone to think something is there that isn’t, but at the same time, there is no part of me that wants the town to know I just spent the last three days locked up fucking my boss at his home. Lucky for me, the door opens and the bell above it rings. Hannah and I both turn toward the door to see Liam stomping his feet clean of the snow caked to his boots.

He walks in, eyes focused on Hannah and Charlie.

“Hey, beauty. I’m sorry I wasn’t here. I had to get everyone plowed out. She make it hard on you?”

“You know her better than to ask.”

“Hi, peanut. Have you been good for Mama?” I watch as Charlotte reaches her hands out to Liam and he scoops her into his large arms. She snuggles into him, wrapping her arms around his neck, happy and content.

“I’ll take her upstairs and get her back to sleep. See you at work tomorrow, Blaire?”

“Absolutely.”

Liam takes Charlotte into the back, and I can’t help but give Hannah that look.

“What?” she asks innocently.

“Tell me to shut up if I’m overstepping, but you two aren’t . . .” I wave my hand around in front of me hoping she puts together what I’m asking.

“Me and Liam? No, never.”

“Really? You guys are so comfortable together. Did he call you ‘beauty?’”

“That comes from being best friends since we were Charlie’s age. Literally. Yes, he did,” she says with a laugh. “I was obsessed withBeauty and the Beastgrowing up and have been a lover of books for as long as I can remember. He’s been calling me that for just as long. He’s so good with Charlie, and I definitely need the help since I’ve only got my grandma. My sisters are always busy doing their own thing when they’re home. I swear they only show up around the holidays lately. Liam’s parents help a lot, too, but with his dad’s medical issues, I try not to lean on them too much.”

“I get that. Are your parents not in the picture?”

“Oh, they are. They’re great. But they’re snowbirds. They live in San Diego from early October through April. They hatewinter. Seasonal depression is real for my mom, so my dad whisks her away to the sun.”

“God, could you imagine? What a life.”

“What about yours? How do they feel about you living away?”

I try to keep my features casual and inwardly cringe. I was so lost in the easy flow of conversation that I inadvertently opened myself up to get-to-know-you questions. Idiot.

“You know, they really don’t mind at all. I’m so happy to be here, so that’s really all that matters,” I say with the confident smile I’ve perfected.

“Good for you, Blaire. Live your life, baby! Now, what can I get you?”

I take my warm chocolate croissant and coffee to go and head back into the winter chill. Deciding it’s just easier to walk, I leave my car parked in front of Bean Haven and walk the two blocks down the street to Rogue. The silence and emptiness of my studio is a stark contrast to being at Dallas’ the last three days.

After I devour the warm, perfectly flakey croissant, licking the chocolate from my fingers, I connect my dead phone to its charger and decide a long shower is needed to help get my head straight. Then, with nothing to do the rest of the day, I’m left with my thoughts and sketchpad.

The last three days spiraled out of control so quickly. It was the most fun and easy three days of my entire life, so naturally, it would end in a shitshow. I mentally admonish myself.

Sex has always been a difficult experience for me because of my history of sexual abuse. The few encounters I had before Dallas were short-lived. I need to be in control. We have to be in my environment, and I have firm limits. What man wants a woman who flinches when you’re more dominant than she is? But with Dallas? My body handed everything over to him like it was the easiest thing in the world.

I lean my head back into the spray and let the hot water cascade over my body. The heat triggers goosebumps and Dallas’ phantom touch. Grabbing my soap, I run my hand over my body, noticing every hickey, bite mark, and finger bruise Dallas left on me. My hands trace over my skin, realizing that there isn’t anywhere that Dallas hasn’t touched with his hands, mouth, or dick. My heart starts to quicken in my chest, my breathing increasing. I close my eyes and lean further into the water, letting it wash away the reminders of him and everything we did. I have to let this go.

I’d be okay if it weren’t for him seeing one of my nightmares. It had to end there anyway, so it shouldn’t matter if he saw me in such a vulnerable state. But it was the way my heart soared in fulfillment when he enveloped me in his arms, the way he comforted and protected me while I slept. That can’t happen. I let him get too close, and if he’s too close he’ll know the truth. What would that mean for me? My job? My new life in Aspen Ridge? No. I can’t let that happen, no matter how incredibly life-changing the last few days were with him. It’s over. It has to be. I want it to be.

Chapter Nineteen

Dallas

It’s been three days since I left Blaire standing in front of Bean Haven. Three days spent going fucking crazy and taking it out on everyone around me. My house is empty without her in it, her absence so noticeable that I’ve been filling my time, trying to be anywhere but there. Her smell has almost left altogether, and it pisses me the fuck off. My brothers have had enough of my shit and they won’t even box with me anymore, so tonight I have plans to meet up with Reid. Man is six foot four and over two hundred pounds of pure muscle. Ivy nicknamed him Drogo, and she’s actually spot-on. He’s even got the long hair and tattoo thing going on. My brothers and I aren’t small guys, but none of us have been stupid enough to take Reid on in the ring. Sawyer jokes that it’d be two hits, one from Reid and one as we hit the ground. But I’m feeling just worked up and crazy enough to take the fucker on.

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