Page 112 of Crave Me

I nod.

“Now what are you going to do?”

“Get my girl back.”

I juggle our coffees in my hand, along with her chocolate croissant, and rap my knuckles against her door. It’s only a few moments that feel like an eternity until she opens it. Her hair is in messy waves that frame her full face that is bare of any makeup. The freckles that dust under her eyes are so prominent when she goes without it, and I wish she’d go barefaced more often. I give her a knowing smirk when I notice that she’s wearing one of my Aspen Ridge Distillery T-shirts and nothing else. She wouldn’t do that if she didn’t miss me.

“What do you want, Dallas?” she snaps, her hand leaning on the door frame, blocking me from entering.

“You, baby.”

“That can’t happen. So you can stop bringing me coffee and food. Stop being so kind to me. Stop sending me flowers. Just stop.”

“If I thought, even for even a moment, that you meant all the bullshit you just spewed, then I would. I would walk out of your life knowing no woman will ever replace you. I’d wish you the best. But your full of fucking shit, princess, and we both know it.”

“Dallas . . .” Her eyes flutter closed, her shoulders sagging.

Enough is enough.

“Let me in,” I demand. “Now. Or do you finally want to learn what happens when I have to repeat myself?” I use the voice she knows all too well and has always responded to.

Her eyes flash open to meet mine and the emotion reflected in them skyrockets my fucking hope to the moon. She turns and walks into her apartment, leaving the door wide open for me. Walking in, I kick the door shut behind me and follow her to the futon she’s currently using as a couch. Handing her the coffee and pastry, I take a seat on the opposite end from her.

“Blaire, I will give you as much time as you need, but I won’t stop caring for you. I won’t stop showing up for you and being there for you. And there’s no fuckin’ way I’ll stop loving you. I am yours. I want you to be mine.”

“You don’t understand, Dallas. You don’t want me. Why won’t you let this go? I’m trying to save you! You thought I was damaged before? That was nothing compared to now!”

“Then tell me what the hell is going on, Blaire. Help me understand!”

“I can’t fucking have children! I can’t give you a family!” she screams, pushing her hands through her hair and sagging deeper into the couch.

The words confuse me before everything slides in place like a fucked-up missing puzzle piece. The doctor told us that the damage to her abdomen was extensive, but that Blaire would need to share the complications with whom she wanted when she was ready. Holy shit, I didn’t even put it together. My heart breaks for my poor girl, and I have to wipe away the tears that fall freely from my eyes. Everything she has been through, and life throws her this to top it off. If that motherfucker wasn’t already dead I’d prolong his death for as long as possible to inflict pain on him over and over again before giving him the relief that death would bring. I move closer to her, the front of our bodies facing each other, combing my fingers through her hair and holding her face in my hands.

“I am so fucking sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.”

“There’s no way you’ll want me now. That’s why I’ve been pushing you away. I don’t want to be left again, Dallas. No one has ever chosen me until you. And if you left like everyone else has, I wouldn’t survive it,” she whispers.

My stubborn, traumatized girl. I am not like anyone from her past. I pull her face up, forcing her to look at me. I look into her eyes when I speak so there’s no chance of her not hearing my words and the truth behind them.

“I’ll gladly repeat this as many times as you need to hear it, princess. You are not damaged, you never have been. I wantyou. I want every version of you. I wanted you the moment I first laid eyes on you. I want you now when we’re both young. I want you when we’re old and falling apart. There is nothing,nothing, Blaire, that will change that.”

“You can’t mean that, Dallas. Kids are so important to people.”

“I mean it with every fiber of my being. All I need is you. Your love, your sass, that fire in your eyes, your body, that vile little mouth. You. Only you. And if you need more than that, if you want kids, baby, we can adopt. Or foster. We can give kids a better childhood and chance at life than the one you had.”

Her face finally perks up and looks at me with something other than defeat and heartbreak.

“You mean that? You’d do that with me?”

“Baby, I’d do anything if it means I get you. I should spank your ass for keeping this from me.”

Her cheeks bloom with a blush and she bites the inside of her lip.

“I wanted to save you from having to make this choice, Dallas.”

“You’re such a goddamn pain in the ass. Do you seriously not realize how much I fucking love you?”

She nods her head as the tears fall over her glassy eyes and down her freckled cheeks, I can’t hold mine back any longer either. I lean into her, kissing her for the first time in weeks. Connecting with her like this feels like coming home. There’s no hesitation from her as she meets me halfway, her mouth opening to accept my tongue as I lick into her mouth, wanting nothing more than to devour her whole. I slow us down, pulling back and pecking a few soft kisses on her plump lips before looking at her again. Her eyes are a stormy mix of emotions, and it makes me wild for her. But first, we need to completely clear the air.

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