Page 101 of Crave Me

“Okay, baby, shh. I’m going to come sit next to you, and Sawyer’s going to drive us home. You’re going to just focus on me, okay?”

I nod my head yes. He leaves me for less than a minute after my door is closed, jogging around to the other side and climbing in next to me. Taking both of my hands in his, I rest my head back against the headrest and close my eyes. The vehicle starts to move, and I squeeze Dallas’ hand, hard.

“I’ve got you. You’re so damn brave, Blaire. Have I told you that? The bravest person I’ve ever met. I remember the first time I met you last September, sitting there in Sawyer’s office. You were wearing a black pencil skirt with an emerald-colored top. Your hair was down and in wild curls that day. It stunned theshit out of me how breathtakingly beautiful you were. But when you spoke back to me? Damn. I was a goner, princess. No one had ever spoken to me the way you did.”

I think back to that moment and remember it clearly. He was wearing black dress pants with a navy blue button-up. He had the top three buttons undone, exposing the thin gold chain that he never takes off. The sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, and I noticed his half-sleeve of tattoos right away. He was so gorgeous. His beard was trimmed to a rough stubble, his hair styled and cropped short on the sides. It took everything in me not to check him out like he had done to me.

“Nice to meet you, Dallas. I’m looking forward to working with you.”

“For.”

“Excuse me?” I asked, tilting my head to the side in confusion.

“Working for me.”

“Ahh. Well, that remains to be seen.”

“You were so quick on your toes to talk back to me and call me on my shit.” His voice drops low, barely a whisper, “I had to leave his office because I would have hauled you out of there like a caveman ready to claim what’s his if I hadn’t.”

I smile for the first time in days, but my heart aches painfully.

“The night of Sawyer’s wedding, I watched you all evening from the bar. Seeing you talk to Cole just kept chipping away at the restraint I had been using to stay away from you. But when you laughed at something he said? I couldn’t stay away any longer. If I didn’t get to have you, he sure as fuck didn’t. He never deserved you.”

Dallas uses the back of his knuckles to wipe away a rogue tear that falls over my cheek, and I lean into the touch.

“I didn’t plan on taking you that night. I didn’t plan on having you at all. But when you followed me to my office and ran thatvile little mouth of yours, that restraint snapped. It was the best decision I ever made. And then fate had a hand in making sure we were forced together for three days and there was no coming back from that.”

My heart breaks more hearing his confessions. He feels this way now, but he won’t once I tell him that I’ll no longer be able to have a family of my own someday. He’ll abandon me just like everyone else has.

Time flew by and suddenly we are pulling up to the Hayes family home, Dallas talking to me the entire time. Amy walks into the garage and Sawyer and Dallas both climb out, sharing a few words between them that I can’t hear. I wait for Dallas to come to my side, opening the door and helping me climb out. I bite the inside of my cheek to hold back the pained gasp that wants to break free.

Dallas stays next to me while I slowly walk through his parents’ house, letting him guide me to his childhood bedroom. He drops the paper bags of prescription medications on the dresser and turns to face me.

“I need a shower. I feel so gross.”

“It’s in here, baby.” He motions toward an open door in the room, leading the way for me to follow. I watch him start the water, feeling the temperature with his hand and adjusting it a few times until he’s got it right. I start to pull off the scrubs the hospital gave me to go home in, since I didn’t have any clothes, and Dallas wouldn’t leave the hospital without me. I hiss as my muscles strain and fight against the movement, my battered body aching in every single location.

Warm hands cover mine, pulling them away from the hem of the top as he carefully helps me pull it off. He does the same with the bottoms, letting them fall to the floor in a pile. I stand there naked, my hands moving to cover part of myself, feeling self-conscious as I look down at all the bruises, especially the huge,black ones across my chest and lower stomach where the seat belt cinched.

Dallas reaches behind his head and pulls off his shirt. My eyes dip to his body, roaming over each muscle that he works hard for, the defined V at his pelvis, and my body responds just like it always does to this man. I shake my head, clearing myself of the spell he puts me under. This isn’t fair to either of us.

“I can do it myself, Dallas, I don’t need you,” I snap, even though it’s a lie.

Unfortunately, I notice the wince and hurt that flashes across his face and it makes me feel like shit.

“Dammit, Blaire, why do you always have to be so difficult? Let me help you for fuck’s sake.” His voice cracks on the last word, and his eyes glass over with unshed tears. He blinks them away and takes a deep breath before speaking again. “I’m sorry. I’m being selfish because seeing you in pain is excruciating. Seeing the evidence of your pain on your beautiful body iskillingme. I would do anything to take it from you, I would bear it ten times over if it meant you didn’t have to feel this way. I don’t do patient, princess. I’m demanding, I’m possessive, and I take control, because that’s how I handle things. I’m trying here.”

The expression on his face nearly breaks me. He’s so guilt-stricken, so heartbroken, and I want to reach out to him so badly, but I know that I can’t. Instead, I nod my head and step into the shower, leaving the glass door open for him to follow. I don’t watch him strip from his sweatpants and socks, but I feel the moment he’s next to me, my body relaxing as I’m sucked into the orbit he keeps us in. The one place where I can let go and just exist without worry or fear.

We don’t speak as we take turns letting the hot spray rain down on us. When he reaches for the shampoo, I don’t fight him, leaning back and letting him wash my hair for the first time. Hishands massage my scalp, rubbing the soap and pulling away all of the greasy build-up from being at the hospital for days.

He positions me in the spray, running his strong hands through my long strands and rinsing out the shampoo. He repeats the process with the conditioner, and it feels so relaxing, his fingers working to take care of me like no one in my life ever has. My heart aches. It’s a pain I’ve never felt before, because for the first time in my life, I’ve found a person who makes me feel safe, who makes me feel alive, loved, cherished, and cared for. Someone who’s given me experiences to help heal my past, whose only focus has ever been my well-being. Someone who I love for his huge, dedicated heart. The distance between us feels like we’re standing on opposite sides of a cliff, a cavernous trench of nothingness keeping us apart.

He picks up the body soap, squirting a small amount on his hand and facing me, silently asking me for permission. I nod, knowing that if I speak, my voice will betray me, giving away all the turmoil I’m trying to keep bottled up. He starts at my shoulder, running his hand over my arm and down to my fingers, massaging between each one. Doing the same thing on the other side, he grabs more soap, this time running both hands across my chest, under my breasts, and sides, gently gliding over my bruised and raw skin, careful not to touch my tiny incisions, before turning me to wash my back.

His hands are strong and smooth, gliding over my soap-covered body like butter. His hand is so much more gentle than a coarse washcloth. I close my eyes and sway slightly, completely relaxed, exhaustion starting to hit me. I face him again as he bends down on his knees, lifting my foot and setting it on his thigh, rubbing between my toes, up my legs, stopping as he gets to the apex between my thighs.

I bite the inside of my cheek, trying to hold back a pleasurable sigh as he washes my other leg. He’s attentive,making sure every inch of me is clean and touched. It’s a new level of intimacy, and I fall further in love with this man. I wish I had never run out of his office that day. I wish I had stayed and fought. None of that matters anymore. This good, kind, selfless man deserves so much better than me.

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