Page 96 of Unravel Me

She walks up to me and wraps her arms around my waist, resting her head on my chest. I rub her upper arms, careful not to press too hard around the finger bruises from where she was hurt. “Shower with me? Please,” she asks me.

I bend down and scoop her into my arms bridal style and carry her down the hall to the master bathroom before setting her down gently while I turn the water on and let it heat up. I undress her slowly, pulling her shirt over her head and watching as her hair lifts and falls back down onto her body. She watches as I unclasp her bra and drop it to the floor. I move to pull her leggings down next, hooking my fingers into the waist and dragging them down her legs. I squat in front of her as she lifts each foot while I free her from their confines. Then I undress myself, reaching back and pulling my shirt off, I quickly drop my pants and kick them to the pile of our clothes on the floor. Placing my hand under the stream of water and testing the temperature before I step in, I pull her by the hand to join me. I line her up so that the shower beats down on her back and wrap my arms around her waist.

“I love you, baby.”

“I love you too,” she responds.

“Lean back, let me get your hair wet.” She tilts her head back into the spray and I use my hands to move her hair around, letting the water soak it. I turn her to face the water while I lather her hair in shampoo, massaging her scalp and taking my time before rinsing her and repeating with the conditioner. I squirt her body wash into her loofah before working it into a bubbly lather and slowly washing her body, rubbing over each of her shoulders and down her arms, under them and down her sides, curving over her hips. I kneel at her feet and wash each of her legs, lifting them to clean her feet. I stand and rinse out the loofah before running my hands over her body and rinsing the soap from her. She hums her appreciation the entire time, but otherwise we stay silent. I quickly run some soap over my body and rinse before taking her back in my arms and letting the hot water hit her until it starts to run cold. I flip the water off and reach out to grab a towel before wrapping her in it and then myself. Grabbing her brush in one hand, I lead her to the bedroom where I sit her between my legs and brush through her long locks, being careful to start from the bottom and work my way up so that I don’t hurt her. We sit in comfortable silence, neither of us feeling the need to speak. Once done, I remove both of our towels and pull back the sheet and blanket and we climb under them. Pulling her into me, I hold her until we both fall fast asleep. Content, relieved, and happy to have her with me, breathing and living.

Chapter 50

IVY

Sawyer encouraged me to take the week off of work, and even though I haven’t been there long, everyone understood. He’s been working from home and been by my side since we left the hospital. It’s been three days since everything blew up at my parents’ house. My throat feels a million times better, thanks to all the tea and ibuprofen. My bruises are a nasty purple-green that Sawyer gently kisses every chance he gets. That night is a memory I’d much rather forget. Luckily, and I use that term loosely, neither Sawyer nor Reid were charged with Brooks’ death. It was deemed self-defense and really couldn’t be disputed with the attempted kidnapping with a deadly weapon,as well as the bruises on both Sawyer and myself. It was all surprisingly hush-hush. I haven’t asked for details. I do my best not to give what happened to me thought or I’ll spiral. The reality of how close I came to almost losing everything rocks me to my core. But the events really set in stone what I want in life. I had already known I could never leave Sawyer again after being back and feeling the peace that came along with it. After spending so many years holding it together, the last thing I want is space from Sawyer.

It took me ten long years of fear, a controlling, abusive ex-boyfriend, and my life falling apart, but I found my way back and now I can focus on creating the life I always wanted. Living for myself without considering the expectations placed on me by anyone else is new, and I’m learning, but Sawyer helps. He encourages me to do what will make me happy, whatever that may be, as long as it’s my choice. Working as the executive chef and running my own kitchen at Barrel House has given me more purpose. The noise of the controlled kitchen chaos, sizzling pans, and clattering utensils used to drown out the fear and pain. Now it fills me with peace and excitement. It’s been a long road to get to where I am, living a life for myself and chasing dreams that make me happy. I’m just grateful to be here. Any lingering hesitations or anxiety I felt over being back in Aspen Ridge disappeared when Brooks attempted to kidnap me and take me from it.

“Hey, butterfly,” Sawyer says next to me, holding my phone out in his hand. “It’s Zoe. You ready to talk? I can’t hold her back much longer.”

“Shit. Yeah, hand it here.” I take the buzzing phone from him with a grateful smile.

“I’ll give you two some time to talk. I love you.” He leans down and kisses my forehead and then my cheek before leaving and closing the door behind him. I swipe up to answer her video call.

“Since when do we ignore each other? I don’t care what is going on, you do not ignore me, Ivy Paige! Oh, baby, look at your face! That son of a bitch, if he wasn’t already dead I swear I’d fuckin’ kill him myself!”

“Breathe, psycho. I’m sorry. I’ve been sleeping a lot.”

“Sawyer has been sending me proof of life, I forgive you. I still can’t believe everything that happened. Are you okay?”

“Getting better every day.”

“Good. That man of yours is probably helping and mother-henning the shit out of you.”

“You have no idea. He was protective before Brooks tried to kidnap and hurt me, but now? Fuck. I have to fight him out of the bathroom just so I can pee alone. I’m surprised he left the room to let us talk.”

“But damn if he doesn’t love you fiercely, babe.”

“He really does. When can I see you again?”

“Ugh. Soon! But not soon enough. Work is ridiculous this time of year but I’ll be up next weekend.”

“Good. I love you, ZoZo.”

“I love you too!”

The rest of the week passes in a blur. We settle into a routine like two people who’ve known and loved each other all their lives. It’s easy and I’m thriving. We eat enough apple cinnamon muffins to make up for the time I lost. When I asked him why he still chooses to eat them, he gave me the same answer as the first time I asked. “It’s a part of you that I can have whenever I want.”

I’m having coffee on the outdoor couch with my feet in Sawyer’s lap, our simple morning routine that I’ve come to love so much. It’s mid-October and the chill in the air is present. Fog stretches across the land in front of us, blocking our view of the mountains that rest off in the distance. Sawyer reaches forward and sets his mug down on the table. “Iv. We haven’t really decided how to move forward, and I just want to make sure we’reon the same page. You’ve been staying here since you got back in town, but I need to hear what that means for you and for us. I haven’t wanted to put pressure on you, baby, but I need to know. With words.”

He hides his insecurities so well, but I should know better. I should know to give him more reassurance and I’ve been so blinded by everything else going on around me that I’ve failed him in that way.

“I’m staying in Aspen Ridge if that’s what you’re asking.” He sighs and there’s no mistaking the relief written all over his face.

“That’s good. But what about everything else? I want you here, Ivy. In our house. In our bed. I want all of this”—he motions around in front of us—“to be ours. I told you, I’m all in. I need to know where you’re at. Are you going to find your own place?”

I smile so big that it hurts my cheeks before responding.

“This”—I copy his motion of pointing everything out around us—“is what I want. I’m sorry for assuming and not talking about it. I want a life with you, it’s what I’ve always wanted, and nothing is going to get in our way this time.”

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