Page 34 of Unravel Me

He leaves me alone in the bedroom, the door shut softly behind him. I listen to his footsteps retreat down the hallway before silence takes root in the empty room.

I nestle into his bed and pull his blanket over my shoulders until it’s tucked under my chin. The warmth of it surrounds me and I’m filled with his scent. All woodsy and sweet. It’s comfort, and smells like coming home. Despite his request, I cry myself to sleep, the weight of my actions pressing down hard on my heart, his words playing on repeat.

Have I been living the life my mom wanted for me all these years? Or have I been living for myself? My mother never had the chance to experience the world around her. In my attempt to make sure I didn’t turn out like her, and experience all that she didn’t get to do, I didn’t explore what I wanted most of all.

A life spent with Sawyer by my side.

Chapter 14

SAWYER

Walking away from her takes the strength of a monk. I walk past my bar and collapse onto the couch, knowing alcohol won’t fix anything right now. I’m stuck between two distinct paths, and the thought of choosing one creates a war inside me. My immediate reaction is to be a neanderthal and demand that she admit she’s mine and never let her leave me again. But my Ivy instincts know that in order to move forward she needs to make every decision for herself. If she left me because she needed to be independent, then the last thing I should do is force her to stay. I must be crazy to still want this woman after a decade apart, and the mayhem she left in her wake. Butseeing her again is like surfacing after being pulled under by a wave. I want the opportunity to know her again. I want to hear every detail of what she’s been through, what her life has been like before it crashed and burned. I also want to hunt down the motherfucker that hurt her. It fucking killed me to hear she isn’t happy. She may have plans to leave Aspen Ridge, but I’ll be damned if she leaves in the same state she arrived.

I want her to be happy.

I want that to be with me.

But Ivy needs to choose me.

I pull out my phone and click on Reid.

Me: You were right. She’s in a rough place. I don’t like it but I’m glad you were there for her for whatever went down earlier.

Reid: Is this your way of apologizing?

Me: I won’t apologize for blowing up on you. She’s off limits. That’s a hard line. I’m giving you a pass this one time because of our history.

Reid: I didn’t mean any harm, brother.

Me: I know

Reid: You handling everything okay?

Me: Fuck no. I want her back, Reid. So fucking bad. But she needs to come to me. I can’t force her.

Reid: I don’t know her story but you’re right, man. You can’t force her. It’s clear she’s got some shit to work through

Does he think I don’t fucking know that? I run my hand through my hair before tugging on the ends. Fuck. The power this woman has over me is unreal. I feel unhinged when it comes to her.

Reid and I go way back. We’ve been friends since college. He had some serious shit go down that brought us even closer when I dropped everything to take care of him. I saw him through his darkest days and he’s done the same for me.

I know his heart bleeds nothing but pure love. Yesterday I would have said that nothing could ever come between us, and today I know for a fact I’d put him six feet under without feeling an ounce of remorse if he ever put his hands on Ivy.

Me: She does. We both do.

I close out of my message with Reid and drop my phone on the coffee table.

Fuck. I can’t believe Ivy is here. I never lost hope that I’d see her again someday, but fuck if it doesn’t gut me to see her in so much pain. She’s so goddamn beautiful, though, even with the life dulled behind her gorgeous eyes. My dreams didn’t do her justice. I’d do anything to bring that life back to her. I spend the rest of the night tossing and turning, restless on the couch, scared to wake up and find out everything was all a dream, or worse, that she’s run again.

I wake with the sun and make my way to the kitchen for coffee. I drop a pod into the Keurig and grab my phone while it brews. My finger hovers over the sibling group chat and I debate whether or not to text them all or just Dallas. I decide word of mouth will eventually spread and they might as well hear it straight from the source.

Me: Taking a few days off. Dallas, you got things covered?

Carter: Jesus, you’ve never taken time off.

Kins: Everything okay big brother?

Dallas: You know I do. Can’t promise the she-devil will be there when you return but I’ve got it under control. What’s up?

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