Page 162 of Always Be an Us

"If she didn’t want a child then she shouldn’t have fucking had one. And the least she could have done was say goodbye when she left."

"I know." My dad gives me a sad smile. ‘I’m not trying to say what she did was okay, but maybe I want you to understand her a little. And to understand that I was also at fault. You weren't entirely wrong when you blamed me for your mother leaving us. Maybe if I'd seen how unhappy she was earlier, I could have gotten her help."

His gaze shifts to the window side, with a view of the overcast skies.

"And to make it worse, I didn’t know how to raise a child myself so I just did everything my father did with me. I tried to instill a work ethic in you and treated you more like an employee than a son. I never let you be the child you were. I should have let you have fun and play with magic as much as you wanted. Heck you might have even become a great magician in the future.”

I make a face and he chuckles to himself, before continuing, “But I didn’t let you explore the full depth of your childish wonder. So in your teenage years, you started to rebel, and instead of seeing that as the cry for help that it was, I only tightened the reins more."

"You were right too," I say. "I was being an irresponsible jackass."

And I had been up to the moment Rachel told me she was pregnant. That’s when I knew I had to get my act together. I couldn’t give my child an absentee parent or an irresponsible one, as my mother had done to me.

"Yes, but you were also a kid who was forced to grow up too fast," my dad counters. "And then you buried yourself in work, especially after you and Rachel broke up. I could see you going down the same miserable path I was, drowning without coming out for air, and there was no way to stop it. I knew where that led and I didn't want you to end up like me, lonely in your old age and estranged from your child."

He considers his next words carefully before he says them. "I also didn’t want you to run away from love just because you were scared of what your mother did to you."

"That's not –"

"Yes," my father interrupts, watching me steadily. "It is."

I open my mouth to refute it but the words don’t come out. Because somewhere deep inside, I know it's true. He's right.

Isn’t that why I’ve been so frightened of telling Emma my feelings, why I fought them for so long?

Maybe it's because inside is still that little boy who was abandoned by his mother, afraid of getting heartbroken again.

Jeez, leave it to my dad to figure it out before I do.

"I have to confess I was hoping for a long time that you and Rachel would get back together, but the last time we spoke, she told me it wasn’t happening."

My father picks up the cup of coffee in front of him, takes a sip, and eyes me over the mug. "She tells me that you’ve met someone?"

I nod, emotion fluttering through me just at the thought of her name. "Yes. Emma."

I can't help but smile. Just saying her name out loud lifts my spirits and makes me feel like butterflies are buzzing around the room.

Dad smiles back. "Is that the one that I heard over the phone?"

It takes me a second to recall what he's referring to.

"Yes," I admit. "That’s her."

"You love her?"

It's not as hard as it once was to admit it, nodding my head. "I do."

"Good," My father smiles. "I’m happy if you are. I don’t even need to know what she’s like. She must be something to have you looking so lovesick."

"She’s..." I search for a word, a phrase, anything to encapsulate the force of nature that is Emma. "She’s the most incredible person I’ve ever met. I’m crazy about her and probably always will be."

My father smiles and then laughs softly.

"You know when I gave you this job, I never thought you would find love while doing it." He looks out the window again. "Your mother and I met here and I remember it being such a nice, slow-moving town. I only hoped the pace would relax you. But I'm happy you've been able to find the woman of your dreams while you're at it."

"Yeah."

Before I can say more, we hear the key turning in the lock and the door opens to reveal Emma, looking as adorably refreshing as ever in matching jean jacket and pants, her hair in a messy bun.

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