Page 134 of Always Be an Us

"Are you okay?" Robbie asks. "You look down."

"Oh." I look away, waving a hand. "I'm fine. Just bummed out that we don't seem to be making much progress."

"Don’t worry. I’m sure yourboyfriendwill figure it out." Robbie drags out the 'boyfriend' word teasingly like he would do in high school whenever he picked on me.

"He’s not my boyfriend," I say.

"Yeah right. That’s why he almost took my head off for talking with you."

I recall the incident that feels like it happened so long ago.

I don’t get jealous, Declan said. But it sure felt like Declan was jealous about seeing me with Robbie.

And he was definitely jealous when I hugged Xavier.

Yet the satisfaction from that knowledge is short-lived because I know that possessiveness and love are two different things. Declan might be possessive over me, but he certainly doesn't love me.

Xavier was possessive over me too, but that didn’t stop him from cheating on me.

Just once, I want a nice, not-toxic love story with a man who truly loves me.

I want to be someone’s first choice, and I want them to choose me and only me. Is that too much to ask?

"Well whatever we were, we’re not anymore," I say firmly, more to myself than to Robbie.

"What happened?" he asks with a mouthful of bread and ham.

I sigh. "Well..."

"Oh wait, I forgot. I don’t actually care."

Robbie winks and then laughs aloud when I shove his shoulder.

"You know I forgot how annoying you used to be," I say.

"And I forgot how easy it was to get on your nerves."

I hit him again.

Since there’s nothing else to do at work, I decide to head home. Rick went fishing with Grandpa this morning. But he might need to work soon, and I don't want Grandpa to be alone.

The scent of freshly caught fish greets me when I open the door. Rick and Grandpa are both on opposite couches with Remy lying peacefully on the ground between them. Rick in the process of standing up.

"Right on time, kiddo," he says. "You must have good senses."

"Right on time for what?"

"I have to head over somewhere," he says. "Emergency and all that. So can you babysit your Gramps while I’m gone?"

"I’m eighty years old. I don’t need a damn babysitter," Grandpa frowns deeply, but he doesn't quite pull off the attempt to be severe.

"Yeah, yeah." Rick rolls his eyes at me, and I giggle.

He brushes his hand over my shoulder in greeting as he walks out. I walk in and collapse into the chair he vacated. Remy instantly turns over for me to rub his belly.

I oblige as my Grandpa's angry expression fades.

"What’s wrong kiddo?"

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