Page 131 of Always Be an Us

She shrugs. "Okay."

"Not just for this, but for last time too. When we had sex. I was rough with you."

"I already told you I was okay."

"Yes, but I still shouldn’t have treated you like that. I was a caveman. I should have been gentler."

Red colors her cheeks and her eyes flick to somewhere behind my shoulder. "Well, it’s not like I didn’t like it. Obviously."

I flashback to the sounds she made, the way she threw her head back, her legs around my thighs pushing me closer, begging for more.

My whole body tightens, desire spreading.

Oh, she definitely liked it, but that’s not the point.

I shouldn't have been so out of control with her. I could have hurt her.

"Still," I say. "I’m sorry. And I’m also sorry that I also embarrassed you in front of your people."

Her expression softens but then she sighs deeply. "Declan, do you think that was what I was mad about?"

"You were mad that I wouldn’t let you talk to your ex." Even just saying the final word puts a bad taste in my mouth. I don't want to give the bastard the satisfaction of the title, of having anything to do with her.

Emma rolls her eyes. "See? This is exactly the problem. You can’tletme do anything. Even if you were my boyfriend, this is the twenty-first century. Women no longer need permission from men to do what they need to do."

"That’s not what I meant, and you know it," I say. "He hurt you badly. I don't want him to do it again. God, Emma, how can you stand to be around him?"

"People change."

"The first time you saw him, you had a full-body freakout."

"Yes, but that was because I was surprised. I didn’t expect him to be here." She folds her hands in front of her. "Look, I’m not suggesting I become best friends with him or anything. But it’s childish to hold on to a grudge for this long. Not to mention annoying. I’m over what he did. I would rather just move on with my life."

"And us? Or are you moving on from that too?"

I don't know where that comes from, some deep-seated vulnerability or fear that popped up in the nearly forty-eight hours since we last spoke.

Her eyes widen slightly, the surprise apparent. A word pauses on her lips, and she shakes her head. "I thought you made it pretty clear that there is no us. And whatever fooling around we did, well maybe that needs to be over too."

"No." Urgency spikes and I grab her shoulders. She stares up at me. "Hold on. Let’s not make any hasty decisions."

"This isn’t a hasty decision. I’ve actually thought about this a lot." Her gaze is sober and more serious than I’ve ever seen it. "I thought about it all last night. I can’t keep making the same mistake and hoping for a different result. That's the definition of insanity.

"What are you talking about?"

"The truth is that I’m not someone who can do casual relationships," she says. "Never have been. When I’m with someone, I tend to make them the center of my whole world. And I want the same from them. I want the kind of love you see in movies, the kind that’s all-consuming and passionate. Two people who aren’t afraid to say what they feel about each other. You know what I mean?"

"Yes." I know exactly what she means, and I feel it like a noose tightening around my neck. It's the end.

She exhales. "It was fun while it lasted, and I think we had a good run, but I don’t think we can keep going on like this. It’s not healthy for me."

"Wait." I don’t have any control, but my hands move and are suddenly grasping her elbows, drawing her closer. I don’t know what I want to say or do next, but desperation is beating through me. I can’t let her go.

"Let’s not…Let’s not do anything hasty, okay?’

"I’m not. I've been thinking about it for a while." She blinks. "I think I’m falling in love with you."

The words hit me like a brick. Usually, I've never welcomed the 'l' word. In fact, I've always avoided it like the plague. I've found it to be something that people say when they want to get a reaction out of you.

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