Page 122 of Always Be an Us

"No," I say and drop it. "I’ll talk to him." At least here, surrounded by all my loved ones, nothing bad will happen.

I walk past Xavier on the way out and bite out of the side of my mouth, "Let’s talk outside."

I don’t look back. But I know he’s following me when I swing the door open and he catches it before it shuts.

We step out onto the sleepy streets, mostly empty except for a few cars parallel parked along the side. A red sedan ambles by, the driver glancing at us as he passes. Another, a blue truck, rumbles at a traffic light. No pedestrians are out this early, but there’s a distant din coming from Lou’s that assures me.

There seems to be enough people in there having breakfast. They’re just a scream away.

Once we're outside, I turn around to face him, crossing my hands over my chest.

"What do you want?’ I ask him.

He has the decency to at least look chagrined. "You don’t want to see me."

"You think?" I can't even muster the anger I used to feel toward him. There's just so much going on in my life. This is the least of my problems.

"Just tell me what you want and go already."

He nods sagely. "You're right to feel that way. I know I deserve your scorn and worse." He sighs. "But I just… I was at my uncle’s and I just couldn’t forget about you and us. And what I did to you. I’m so sorry."

"You're sorry? For which part?" I ask.

"For all of it. I was such a dick–Jesus I don't even know what came over me. It was like watching myself do all those things to you and not being able to control it. I'm so sorry, Emma." Honest regret reflects in his gaze and his misery softens my resolve a little.

"It's okay," I say.

"No, it's not," he responds. "I can't stop thinking about how not okay it was. And the thing with Georgia–" I stiffen when he mentions his girlfriend's name. "Just know that I never meant what happened to happen. I was going to break up with her, but she was having finals and some family stuff and it just seemed like a bad time, but then I met you and– "

"We really don't have to rehash this Xavier–"

"No. I need you to know." He holds up his hand and takes a deep breath. "I swear to you Emma, that I didn't mean for you to be the other woman. In my mind, things with Georgia were already over, and meeting you proved it. I'd never felt like that with anyone else. Being with you was intoxicating and made me happier than I'd ever felt before. I loved you. That much was true."

"The cheating was the least of our problems, Xavier," I tell him. "Or did you forget that you stalked me?"

He shakes his head, shame crawling over his face. "That was fucked up, I know. I don't have an excuse. All I know is that when I lost you, I think I lost my mind a little too. Ineededto get you back and that was the only way I knew how. That's the only explanation I have for what happened. Please, can you find it in you to forgive me?"

I close my eyes and sigh, feeling whatever pain I used to feel just bleeds out of me. Damn it. I can't hold a grudge to save my life.

And Xavier does look genuinely broken up about it.

Maybe my friends in Cali were right. Maybe I did blow everything out of proportion. This whole time I may have been exaggerating everything a little, my mind seeing Xavier as the boogeyman when he's never hit me or hurt me. At most, he yelled at me.

So how bad could he really be?

Plus there’s a tiny, not entirely rational part of me that believes that at least some of his actions were due to our pearl exchange, because we weren’t in true love.

And while Declan might not believe the curse is real, I’m not entirely sure it’s not.

I mean, I try not to be superstitious but how else do I explain Xavier's sudden and scary obsession?

So how can I truly blame Xavier for what he did when supernatural forces were at play too?

"It's okay," I say finally. "I forgive you. Truly."

His eyes widen. "You do?"

I nod.

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