Page 115 of Always Be an Us

"Fucking bastard." Declan’s tone sounds murderous, and I smile, feeling a little vindicated by his wrath. I wonder how he would react if I told him the story didn't end with cheating. In fact, cheating might have been the least egregious thing Xavier did to me.

But I don’t want anyone to know the rest. It’s too ridiculous to even think about.

No one would believe me anyway.

"Yeah," I respond. "Sorry, I used you to get rid of him."

He raises an eyebrow, and I gesture to his hand with my chin.

"The handholding."

"Oh, that’s what that was?" He smirks. "If I had known that was what you were doing, I would have given you a big fat kiss to turn it up a notch."

I giggle, my tension trickling away as Declan takes my arm and draws me to my feet.

"You can use me anytime you want, babe," he says.

My heart skips a beat at the term of endearment and the soft look in his eye. My pulse echoes in my throat, my heart melting. I can't look away no matter how many times I tell myself to do so. It's hard to fight against the emotional turmoil in my body. Because although I try to tell myself that Declan feels nothing for me, it’s hard to believe it when he says and does something like that.

Meanwhile, I know I’m on my way to falling in love with him. I recognize all the signs, and I would be deluding myself to say that I am not. And I didn't need Rachel's warnings to tell me that I was on the fast track to heartbreak either. Declan already let me know that he can never feel anything like that for me, no matter how much my heart wants to convince me that he could.

But there doesn’t seem to be anything I can do about it now. I can't let him go, not even for my own good.

I stare into his eyes and feel my heart aching with pain and love.

He reaches up and tenderly tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Come on," he says. "I'll help you clean up."

But to be honest, we don't get much cleanup work done when we're here.

We climb up the stairs to the patio, the wooden floorboards thunking underneath our feet. I open the door, and stare at the chaos of the quiet home, once again taken aback by just how much destruction they caused.

At the same time, it still smells like home, remnants of hot chocolate and fish scales wafting through the air. Grandpa’s Chinaman’s hat is also still on the hook near his bedroom, untouched.

When we walk through the door, Remy immediately gets into a tizzy sniffing the air and straining against his leash.

I chuckle at him, "Wanna explore your new home, baby?"

Remy yips his answer, and when I let him go, he saunters over to the kitchen area. Out of the corner of my eyes, I notice Declan watching me.

"You know you don't have to leave the hotel if you don't want to, right?" he says suddenly. "You can stay for as long as you like."

The longer I stay with you the more I fall for you.I'm tempted to admit it to him, but I know what’s going to happen once I do–he’s going to run away, fast and far.

He's going to leave anyway.

By keeping my feelings a secret, I’m only delaying the inevitable. But still, I don’t want to lose him yet.

"I'll have to leave eventually," I say, and my voice is only a little above a whisper. "I might as well get used to it now. And besides, Grandpa is coming home soon. I have to get the house ready."

It's quiet as I turn away from him, avoiding his eyes and hoping we can drop the conversation there. It's making me emotional. So I try to keep busy to avoid talking about it more, by picking through the debris. I spot, at the corner of the fireplace, a picture of my parents with the frame broken. I pick it up and stare down at it.

A second later, I feel a presence at my back. "Who's that?"

I glance up to note Declan's eyes on the picture.

"My parents," I respond.

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