Page 51 of Designs on You

Natalie walked the phone over to where her furry baby wascurrently curled up on the fluffy dog bed. “See? The kids are outside and the dog is inside napping. Happy.”

Hazel sighed and smiled. “She does look happy. You’re doing so well with her, Natalie.”

Natalie turned the phone back to herself. “You sound surprised. Should I be insulted?”

“Of course not. Okay, maybe. I never took you for a dog person. For a while there you barely tolerated being in the presence of my dogs.”

Not a lie. “You have a point. But that wasn’t about your dogs. It was more me being stressed and unhappy. I barely tolerated my kids, let alone dogs. So I wasn’t really myself.” She thought about it. “I’m still not sure who ‘myself’ is yet, Hazel.”

Hazel nodded. “I appreciate your honesty. And it’s such a breakthrough for you to recognize that. Plus, you have a dog now. You’re expanding your capacity to love, Natalie. That’s a big deal.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“I’m being serious. Being responsible for another creature—human or canine—is a major deal. During a time when most people would be introspective and focused on their own needs, you’ve decided to open yourself up to love. Both giving and receiving. That’s huge.”

Was it? She hadn’t thought about it at all. “I think it was more of a case of instalove where Grizelda was concerned.”

Hazel laughed. “Well, now, that I completely understand.”

They talked for a few more minutes, then hung up since they were both busy. Since the kids were occupied outside kicking a ball back and forth to each other, Natalie took a seat at the tablewhere she could keep an eye on them and opened her laptop to work on a few design projects.

She put the finishing touches on a project she’d been diligently working on since she first started back to work. It was a huge design, one that included a living room, dining room, and three bedrooms, along with a backyard redesign. She’d gotten to know the owners, Fred and Paula, a retired couple who’d lived in their home for over twenty years. Now that they had time to relax and recreate, they’d renovated the entire house, and Paula wanted it to have a design refresh. She had a keen eye for detail, which Natalie just loved. Working with a client who knew exactly what they wanted made her job so much easier.

She checked inventory and grinned when she realized that everything had come in and was ready to go. She should be able to finish the design next week. She shot off an email to Paula to schedule the install.

By the time she finished sending some emails to suppliers, Grizelda had woken from her nap and was whining at the back door.

“Good girl,” Natalie said, opening the door for her. She walked out with the pup, who dashed out to join the kids. They were sitting in the shade under a tree, their heads touching. They were talking in whispers, no doubt plotting a world takeover. Or at least a takeover of the house.

But then Cammie and Christopher decided that rolling around on the ground with Grizelda was way more fun than a world takeover. The sounds of their giggles and the pup’s happy barking were the sweetest music.

Her kids were happy. Her dog was happy. Her heart swelled with joy as she watched them.

But was she happy?

The thought shocked her.

She’d focused so much of her time and attention since the divorce on making sure the kids knew they were loved, that just because she and Sean were no longer living together, it didn’t mean that anything would change in how they felt about the kids. It had been rough at first, but kids were resilient—much more than Natalie had been. Even though she’d been the one to initiate the divorce, it had still been hard. She’d had to learn a whole new way of living.

She’d never felt more alone than during that time. But even through those darkest days, she’d known she’d made the right decision. Because despite all the upheaval, for the first time in so many years, she’d felt a sense of rightness, of peace that she’d never felt before. And that calm had been worth all the mayhem.

But was she happy?

As she watched the kids and dog run the yard, she pondered the thought.

That daily tension from trying to be the perfect wife to Sean had evaporated. Now she could do whatever she wanted—within reason and childcare, of course. But knowing that she answered to no one but herself? That meant everything.

She loved her job, her clients, and the people she worked with. She had a new, much closer relationship with her mother and her sister, and those tightened bonds were so warm, so loving.

And then there was Eugene. And sex. Oh so hot sex that wasextremely nice and had definitely lowered her anxiety, while at the same time heightening all her senses.

So, yeah, right now, she was very happy.

And that was enough for now.

For nowwas all she could do.

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