Page 116 of Keep Me

I quickly type out my reply.

Me: Thank you.

Killian: You should publish it.

Me: I wrote it for you.

Killian: I love it.

Me: I’m glad.

We’re silent for a moment, both of us probably unsure where to go from here. What do we say to each other now? My fingers are aching to type outI miss you. I love you. Please let me come home.

But he responds first.

Killian: How are you?

Me: I can’t sleep.

Me: How are you?

Killian: I’m trying.

My chest aches, and I choke down a sob. Deep down, I keep asking myself this one burning question. If Killian thinks he’s sparing me from a life spent in that house, what is left to motivate him to get out? Won’t he just fall back into his own ways? Why can’t I help him?

Killian: I need to hear your voice.

I dial his number so fast my fingers hurt. As the call rings, I chew on the inside of my lip, waiting to hear his voice.

“What time is it there?” he asks in a growly whisper.

My skin erupts in goose bumps at the sound. His voice seeps into my pores like warm honey.

“Three thirty,” I reply.

“It’s half past eight here.”

“You’re up early.”

“Couldn’t sleep,” he mutters.

“Me neither.”

“Do you feel different?” he asks. “Being home.”

“What do you mean?”

He clears his throat. “I mean, do you feel like you belong there?”

I shake my head. “No. I don’t know where I belong.”

I belong with you, I want to say, but I hold myself back. Putting too much pressure on him isn’t what I want to do either. I can still see the gaunt look in his eyes that day after the beach. I can’t do that to him again. I can’t be as bad as the others.

If letting Killian Barclay go is what I have to do for his own good, I’ll do it.

“Do you feel different? Now that I’m gone.”

He clears his throat. “The house feels smaller. I don’t like how quiet it is without your footsteps in the hall.”

---