Page 112 of Keep Me

On top of that attack, he’s now dealing with the guilt of bringing me down with him. I can’t stand it, so I try my best to make him believe that’s not true.

He kisses me back, but it’s weak and missing something.

“Come on,” I whisper, pulling him toward the house. “Let’s go inside.”

I hold tight to his hand for the rest of the walk, but neither of us speaks. When we reach the house, I pull him all the way to the bedroom. I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help myself. I’m desperate for him, for all the parts of him that make up the whole of this person I love. He’s shattering into a million tiny pieces, and I don’t know how to hold him together anymore. So I figure if we keep doing the same things we once did, he’ll be himself again. And we’ll be us.

I let him undress me, and then I undress him, and when I lie in our bed, using his body like my security blanket, I imagine this is what he wants too. His grip on my body is so tight, and his grunts are so loud, and I hold him the same way I did last night. I give him every part of myself he might need to make himself better, and I pray it’s enough. My pleasure, my voice, my body.

When he finishes, he trembles inside me with his lips latched onto my shoulder, biting me just enough to make it hurt. Then, he kisses it better, trailing his lips to my ear, where he softly whispers, “Mo ghràidh.”

And I fool myself into believing this is a step in the right direction. But then he pulls out of me and rolls to his side of the bed. I’m left there lying alone, feeling the drip of his seed between my legs, and he does nothing to stop it.

Chapter Thirty-Six

When I wake up the next morning, his side of the bed is empty again. Just like last time, I sit up in a panic.

“Killian!” I shout as I burst out of our bed and bolt toward the door. It’s morning, and the sky is bright, but as I run from the room, I barely even notice that something is amiss in our room. In nothing but a pair of panties and one of his shirts, I scramble down the stairs, desperate to hear his voice.

Instead, I hear Anna’s. And my heart drops.

My footsteps hurry down the rest of the stairs, but when I hit the landing, I nearly trip over the two large suitcases sitting at the bottom.Mysuitcases.

“What the…?”

Dread swarms like bees in my belly as I walk slowly into the parlor. When my eyes find Anna sitting on the chair, tears streaking her face, I know exactly what’s happened.

“Anna, no…” I whisper at the sight of her.

“I’m sorry, Sylvie. The guilt was eating me alive. I had to tell him.”

“Everything?” I whisper. And when she nods, it’s like a punch to the gut.

Then I hear his familiar stomping. Turning, I spot my husband coming toward me, but his eyes don’t meet mine. “Killian,” I say, pleading as he brushes past me.

“By now, you’ve realized I know everything,” he mutters darkly. There’s a slur to his voice, and my heart shatters at the sound.

“Don’t do this,” I beg.

“I have to,” he replies.

“No, you don’t,” I argue. “We can work this out together.”

“I won’t lose my house. You have to leave,” he murmurs, reaching for his drink on the bar. I sprint toward him, grabbing the glass from his hand.

“Stop it!” I scream before flinging it across the room.

Anna screams and covers her head from the shards of broken glass. Then, I look into his eyes and point my finger as I shoot my accusations.

“Stop it, Killian. Yes, it’s true that my part of the plan was to have your house taken away from you, but I’m not going to let that happen now. And you can’t be mad at me for that. We barely knew each other then.”

“But what about now?” he bellows.

“I was just at her house yesterday, Killian,” I shout, pointing to his sister. “You know I was doing everything in my power to fix this!”

“I know you were doing everything in your power to get your money.”

“You nasty brute,” I snarl in his face. “You know that’s not true. Youknowhow much I love you. You think I wanted this?” I cry. He turns away from me, marching from the room in anger. “You think I wanted to fall in love with you?” I continue.

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