Page 106 of Keep Me

“Ready for round two?” he remarks with a wink.

Keeping my towel around my waist, I climb onto the high bed and curl up beside him. “You’ll be the death of me.”

“I don’t have to be rough this time,” he says, gently petting my hip. Then he starts to crawl down my body, shimmying between my legs. “I can be very, very gentle.”

With a smile, I run my fingers through his hair. But instead of going where I thought this would lead, he pauses and rests his chin on my lower belly. “Do you want kids someday?”

My eyes nearly pop out of my head. “Kids?”

He chuckles, making his chin bounce on my groin. “I keep forgetting how much younger you are.”

“Young or not, it’s a little early to start talking about kids. We’re stillfakemarried, remember?”

He growls at me for saying that, but at this point, I just say it to piss him off.

“We’relegallymarried. And I’m not saying we should have them rightnow,” he argues. “I’m just asking if you want them.”

“Do you?” I run my nails through his hair again, softly scratching his scalp.

He shrugs. “I picture your belly growing big with my child, and it just does something to me. I never thought like that before.”

I can’t help the way that makes me feel too. My stomach actually warms as if it can feel it too. My own little piece of Killian growing inside. Creating someone that is trulyours. Forming our own family that makes up for all of the shit our own have done to us. We would be so much better than them.

“Is that smile a yes?” he asks, looking so hopeful it crushes me.

How could I take anything away from him, especially something that is so perfect and wonderful?

“Yeah…someday,” I reply.

“I can already imagine them scampering around the manor, playing out in the garden, and going with us for rides around the grounds.”

And just like that, the good feeling spoils and dies. He still thinks he gets to keep the house after our year.

“Or…” I say, testing the subject. “We could buy our own new house somewhere different. Someplace that’s all ours.”

His head slants. “The house is ours,” he argues. “It will be ours and then our children’s. I want it to be their home the same way it was mine. Do you not like it at Barclay?”

I swallow the rising dread. “Of course I do,” I reply quickly to cover up the gaping wound this conversation is creating.

“Good, then we’ll need to make lots of babies to fill it,” he replies, peeling apart my towel to place a kiss just below my belly button. I let out a squeal as I wrap my legs around him.

“I didn’t say anything aboutlots,” I whine, but he’s already trailing kisses down to my clit, quieting my mind and replacing my thoughts of worry with the sensation of pleasure.

***

I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of groans. On theother side of the bed, Killian sounds as if he’s having a nightmare. This is the first time it’s happened, so I carefully turn toward him and rest a hand on his shoulder, hoping to ease him out of the dream.

His skin is soaked with sweat and covered in goose bumps, so I cover him with the blanket, hoping that will help.

Within a few minutes, the groaning stops, and he falls back to sleep.

So I wrap my small arms around his waist and try to hold him tight enough to keep it from happening again. It takes me a bit longer to nod back off. Worry follows me into my dreams.

When I wake up again, it’s still dark. But the other side of the bed is empty.

I sit up in a panic, looking through the darkness of the unfamiliar room for him. Then I hear thrashing downstairs.

In a rush, I dive out of the bed and snatch a robe off the hook, wrapping it around me as I scurry down the stairs. “Killian?” I call for him.