Page 54 of Keep Me

But I don’t. The more I think about it, the more I’m starting to realize something. “Let me guess,” I say with a tilt of my head. “Your little affair wasn’t part of that kinky swinger shit you guys do at the parties?”

Her eyes half shut, which tells me I must be right.

“He told you about that?” she whispers.

“Killian is dealing with his own shit,” I snap. “He doesn’t need you fucking with his head even more.”

Killian doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who would screw his friend’s wife. At least not without feeling like shit about it. Is that the prison he’s locked himself in? One made of remorse and regret?

“It wasn’t just my fault, you know?” she replies. “He’s just as responsible as I am. I feel terrible for what I’ve done, and I’m paying for it with my own guilt.”

That part pulls me out of my thought process. “Oh yes, so much guilt that you tried to screw him again?”

“Will you please keep your voice down?” she whispers angrily.

When I feel the curious stares from around the pub, I shrink down and keep quiet. Normally, I wouldn’t care about attracting attention, but this isn’t about me. This is his business, and the more people seem to meddle in it, the more fired up I seem to get.

I take another drink of my beer, desperate to calm my nerves.

“You know…” she says, scratching the back of her neck. “You’re not at all what I expected for Killian. You two are so alike; I can’t imagine how you’re compatible.”

“We’re not that alike,” I argue. That comment caught me off guard. I’m nothing like Killian. He’s brash, rude, and inconsiderate.

When Claire doesn’t respond, I swallow and look away.

“What? You think you’re so much better for him?” I ask.

“I know what he needs,” she replies smugly, and my blood starts to boil again.

“Oh yeah? And what is it he needs?” I’m asking to be defiant, but I’m also a little curious.

She rests her arms on the table and leans forward. “Killian doesn’t need some headstrong brat who is going to make everything difficult for him. He needs someone who puts their trust in him. Someone who will let him have control and be the dominant man he is.”

My face contorts into a sneer. I would never force myself to be something I’m not just because it’s what heneeds. But the more I let her opinion settle in my mind, the morewrongit feels.

“You don’t know him at all,” I reply.

She scoffs. “And you do? You’ve known him for what? Three months? If you think kinky swinger parties were the extent of it, then you don’t know a damn thing.”

Suddenly, I feel very confident that I know Killian far better than she does, even if she has known him for ten years. Hell, at this point, I feel like I might know him better than his own family. Maybe because he isn’t afraid to be himself around me. He shows me the ugly parts—the parts he won’t let anyone else see. I see when he’s scared and frustrated and lonely and angry. All they see are fake smiles and rehearsed fronts.

I grab the bag, holding the leather gloves off the seat. The sudden desperation to be out of this pub and out of this city is overpowering. I just want to go home.

Standing up in a huff, I lean down toward Claire and force out everything on my mind, no matter how irrational it is.

“You don’t know him, because if you did, you would know that’s not what he needs at all. Killian doesn’t need more control. He blames himself too much for that. What he needs is someone he cantrust. Someone who will take away the decisions and the burden of having to make them. Someone he can truly let go with.”

She lets out a sarcastic chuckle. “And you think that’s you?”

I inch closer. “I know it is.”

When her face flattens in anger, I resist the urge to throw the rest of her beer in her face or punch her in the nose. The old Sylvie might have done that, but I refrain. As much as I’d love to lash out at this cheater the same way I lashed out at Aaron, I don’t.

Instead, I stand up tall and stare down at her.

“If you touch my husband again, I’ll kill you.”

Her eyes widen in surprise. And with that, I storm out of the pub, grabbing my coat and scarf on the way.

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