Page 397 of Tis the Season to be Bullied

“Why? You want to throw a party?” Despite her words, there’s a hint of a smile on Mom’s mouth when she glances over at me. I lean over and grab a discarded carrot top, nibbling on it as we talk.

“That’s what Wayne told Jude the other day.”

“We are,” Mom says and then points at a bowl of cubed steak. “This is for you kids.”

I almost choke on my carrot. She’s making foodjustfor us? I was lucky if I got a PB and J sandwich for supper if Mom wasn’t going to be home for dinner. Resentment swirls inside me, and it’s a fucking effort to push it down. But I remind myself why I’m here, and that keeps me from exploding.

“That’s...nice.” I power through, hoping she didn’t notice the hitch in my voice. “So, uh, Mom...what’s this about an Ash Feast or something?”

She turns to me wearing a frown, her knife suspended in the air. “Ash Feast?”

“Yeah. I think that’s the name.” I wave my carrot top. “The girls at school were talking about it.”

“Oh, the Feast of Ashes.” Mom shrugs and goes back to chopping. “It’s a big holiday around here. Wayne’s company is involved with the fundraising, I think.”

“That sounds cool.”

She uses the back of her hand to rub her nose. “Why do you ask?” she adds, sending me a suspicious glance.I can’t blame her. I’ve never shown interest inanythingso to be asking her this out of the blue is weird, even for me.

“Honestly...?” I move a little closer, dropping my voice. “It’s like a really big deal at school. The girls in my class won’t stop talking about it. I thought it might be cool if I could...I dunno...help out, maybe?”

Mom stops chopping, staring straight ahead for a second before turning to me. “That’s a fantastic idea.” Then she smiles.

I can’t remember when last I saw that smile. I might have been five years old. My heart stutters in my chest, and suddenly I’m blinking back tears.

Is she...proud of me?

“Yeah, I mean, it’ll look good on my college applications, right?” I blurt out, trying to get rid of this unfamiliar feeling inching through me. I wave vaguely and drop my half-nibbled carrot back on the heap of vegetable scraps. “But if there are already enough people?—”

“College?” Mom’s voice is a whisper. “You...want to go to college?”

“Uh...yeah. I guess.” I shrug, my cheeks starting to heat up from the shocked look on my mother’s face.

Gees, you’d swear I was a fucking degenerate. Why is she so shocked that I’m thinking more than a day ahead? For the first time in my life, I think I might have a future. There’s been no point considering stuff like this before.

“Oh, honey, that’s...yes, of course you can help out. I don’t care if Wayne has to fire half his employees, you’re going to bepart of it.” Her smile hitches up, and she almost looks like she wants to hug me.

“Uhm....”

Her expression falters. “What?”

“Can you get my friend in too?”

My mom’s lips purse into a tight smile, and she gives me a quick nod. “On one condition.”

“Sure.”

“I want to meet her.” Then she blinks. “Or him.”

“I’ll invite her over next week,” I say, grinning. “Do you need a hand?”

I’ve offered before since we’ve moved in here, but she usually chases me out the moment I don’t do something right. But tonight she just gives me another warm smile and steps aside, pointing at a bowl of peas.

“Could you shuck those for me?”

“Maybe…if I knew what the hell that was.”

She laughs, puts her knife down, and grabs one of the peas. “Here, I’ll show you.”

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