Page 147 of Forbidden Lessons

Then I wipe it away with a quick rub of my palm so she won’t see it.

Chapter 41

Haven

Kai might as well be choking me again. With his heavy body crushing mine, I can barely get air into my lungs. But I still keep trying to draw in shallow breath after shallow breath.

Not for long.

I’m losing my grip, and I can’t think of a single fucking reason not to let go.

I’ve wanted to many, many times before.

I wouldn’t be alive if Kai hadn’t found me. Befriended me.

And now he’s trying to destroy me.

What happened to that kid who’d risked his life to save mine? Who’d teased me about not wearing a bra? And then stopped when he realized I couldn’t afford one?

He could have let me drown that day when the river swept me away. God knows he should have. I’d told him how many times I wanted to die. But he held on when he could have let go. And thenIheld on, because I didn’t want to let him go.

I want to let go now.

I’m silently begging him to take the knife digging into my side and bury it between my ribs. To pierce my thumping heart and make the guilt go away.

The sadness. The pain.

He’ll do it. I know he will.

Something has pushed Kai even further into the dark.

I can see it in his eyes, the way he studies me for the smallest trace of pain. Any bruise he can press on, just to see how much it hurts.

But maybe he doesn’t find any, because instead, he cuts me with the knife.

It pierces my skin, just above my rib.

A sharp sting. Then a savage, pulsing ache.

There’s a fascinated gleam in his eyes when I scream into his hand, then he drops his head and sucks my nipple into his mouth. I grasp his hair, trying to pull him away, more concerned with the lips on my breast than the knife tip digging into my side.

He growls as I yank at his hair, his neck taut as I wrench him off me, his lips twisted in a snarl. His chest presses against mine as he breathes, then his gaze slides down to my mouth.

He’d have kissed me then. I can feel it, just like I can feel how hard he is between my legs.

And I want him to. I want to taste the lingering sweetness of whatever sucker he’d been working on through the meeting.

Is raspberry still his favorite?

There’s a clatter outside the door. Kai jerks in surprise at the sound and then rolls us under the bed. We come to a stop with him on top again, the knife against my throat, his hand so tight over my mouth that I can taste his skin.

“…get a new one,” Melissa says as she walks into our room. “Just snapped right off. Haven?”

I stare at the pair of pink bunny slippers a few feet away, my entire body shivering.

All it would take was one good scream.

And then what? She sees me under the bed with Kai? What if he attacks her? And even if he doesn’t, I’m practically naked. I can say what I want, I know the repercussions will be mild.

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