Page 91 of Forbidden Lessons

I sent him fleeing, like a little boy running home to his mama.

And it feels so fucking good, I’ve decided I don’t need to come.

Thick clouds, partly white, partly gray, hang low in the sky. They cast vast splotches of shadow down onto Agony Hollow, only the odd shaft of light spearing down to pick out a house or two here, a building over there.

My eyes narrow when one of those rays of light hit my car. I sigh, my head falling back on the headrest as my skin warms. I must doze off without realizing, because when a shiver wakes me. My eyes flicker open, staring at the cloud blocking the sun.

Rubbing my hands over my arms, I peer around my car with a confused frown.

Where the hell is my cardigan?

I find it inside my tote a moment later, when I see how grubby my white linen bag is, tears well up in my eyes.

But I blink them back, because fuck that. I’ll wash it, and it will be good as new.

The same can’t be said for my dignity, though.

God, what the hell was I thinking?—?

“No!” My stern voice seems much too loud in the confines of the car. I open the door, kicking out a foot to stop it swinging back and slamming into my shins like it loves to do when I’m not paying attention.

A chilly breeze tugs my dress, rifling it against my knees. I wrap my arms around my chest and carefully approach the edge of the lookout point. There’s a metal barrier between me and oblivion, but it’s waist high, easy enough to climb over. And the metal curves just right so I can sit on it.

It’s a better view than from the concrete bench a few feet away.

My flip-flops crunch over the grit and dry scrub as I carefully swing my leg over the barrier, hop, and slide down the other side until my ass is seated on top.

Straw brushes the tips of my toes as I stretch out a foot.

Another gust of wind pushes against my back.

My eyes lose focus as I stare out over the town.

I need to process what happened back at school between me and Kai, but it’s so much easier just to let those thoughts slip away.

I’d much rather just sit here and imagine a future where I’m not Haven Lee. Not Heavenly. Just someone else.

Someone brave, and strong, and good.

Someone I can be proud of.

I WISH I NEVER MET U

I FUCKING HATE U

BURN IN HELL

FUCK ME?

FUCK YOU!!!

I wrap a hand around my throat to better feel the ghostly touch Kai left behind.

My mind was seething with emotion when I wrote that letter. All my plans throughout my entire life felt like they’d led up to that one moment, that one day, my sixteenth birthday.

I’d always wanted to spend it with Kai. And when we began to drift apart, I made him swear that no matter what, we’d be together that day.

He kept his promise.

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