Page 182 of Forbidden Lessons

You know what? Fuck them.

Fuck them all.

“Because I never got the invite.” I let out another laugh, bitter, and it’s easier this time.

“Because I don’t live there anymore. Up until yesterday, I’d been living in my car. And trust me, you can open a little slit in your driver’s side window, but Ted still won’t deliver your mail.”

That gets some laughs, which is fucked, because it wasn’t a joke. Not really. I can’t yell at these people. They’re not responsible for my shitty life. But it feels good getting this off my chest when I’ve been trying to hide every aspect of my life in case someone found out I was a fraud and sent me packing.

“Poverty either breaks you, or it makes you unbreakable. I guess, standing up here—” I glance off to the wings where a nervous Melissa is staring at me with big eyes “—and giving this stupid speech after almost falling flat on my face, proves how unbreakable it’s made me.”

The crowd breaks out in applause.

What the hell? I was being sardonic.

I search the faces I can pick out in the crowd, trying to understand what they find so inspiring about my sad life.

And that’s when I see him.

Kai.

He looks so fucking hot in his tuxedo that my mind goes blank again. That my cheeks flare red. That a tingle starts up between my legs and tries to bury itself deep inside me.

His hand is at his throat, like he’s about to drag his bowtie off and storm the stage. And that just reminds me of how his hands felt wrapped around my neck.

How long did I sit in my car up there at Lookout Point, tracing the marks he left on my skin?

Fuck him too.

“That doesn’t mean I know what I’m doing.”

I drop my head, taking a slow breath in and out.

“It’s like someone’s put me in the cockpit of a Boeing and told me to fly it. And through sheer stubbornness, I’ve gotten it airborne, but now it’s falling, and I have no idea how to stop it.”

The crowd’s silence sucks at me like gravity. The woman beside me, I’m assuming she’s the dean, shifts her feet, her hands clasping a little tighter in front of her, like she wants to interrupt this train-wreck of a speech before I start yelling.

So I make my voice low, calm. Peel my fingers off the podium and stroke them down the wood instead.

Elegant. Graceful.

Everything I’m not.

“I know I don’t belong here. And some of you would probably prefer that I leave. But, with all due respect, you can all just suck it up.” There’s a wave of indignant gasps and huffs, but I ignore them. “Because I’ll never get an opportunity like this again.”

My eyes flick to Kai, and even from up here, I can see his mouth thin into a line. His frown.

Get out.

He’s coming for you.

Someone tried to warn me. Guess they didn’t know it was old news.

Kai’s had it out for me ever since I went from his innocent, naïve best friend to a trailer trash whore.

“I’m staying.” I lean in closer to the microphone. “And I’m making every second count.”

Chapter 53

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