Page 173 of Forbidden Lessons

“Jesus…”

“Then there’s always the toga-dress. We have nice sheets. Do you look good in white?”

Fuck this. If I can’t bury my head under my pillow and try to phase out of this reality until a better one comes along, then I’m going to raid the fridge.

“Are you going to shower? Good idea. It’ll be swarming in there in an hour.”

Melissa follows me into the kitchen, because I guess it’s her life mission to terrorize me.

I’ve never had this effect on people before. Back at Ashwood High, I was invisible. Just another nameless face in a sea of kids. Now it’s like everyone I come into contact with has a secret agenda to mess with my shit.

“Know what helps with boy problems?” Melissa says, leaning her hip against the counter as she watches me rummage inside the fridge. This thing is stocked. A veritable feast…if you like vegetables and low fat dairy.

“Junk food?” I mutter, swiveling a yogurt carton around so I can see the label. Fat-free. Yuck.

“No. This.”

I roll my eyes when she doesn’t elaborate, my curiosity forcing me to turn to her. “Is that…a joint?”

“It’s not,nota joint.” She flashes me a smile and wriggles her fingers over the joint and stage-whispers, “Boy problems be gone!”

“You’ve discovered the cure,” I tell her, shaking my head. “I can’t believe it, but you’ve fucking discovered the cure.”

“Told ya.” She passes me the last of the joint, but I shake my head and my hand, just in case she missed the head shaking. “We take them too seriously. This?” She holds out the last of the joint before pinching it in her fingertips and hitting it. “Perspective.”

I hold up a finger. “Clarity.”

She opens her mouth, but then closes again, shrugging. “Yeah. Those.”

We’re at the table under the gazebo, in GAZ’s backyard. Sitting on it, because I’m guessing that’s how the cool kids do it. With such heavy, gray clouds above, all the colors are muted, shadows darker.

It’s gloomy, chilly, and I love it.

Why hadn’t I stayed here the whole day instead of going to lunch with Bastian?

Melissa keeps brushing her hair out of her face when the wind blows it, then looking up at the sky like it’s got beef with her.

“So what did Kai do? He cheat on you? Guys do that. You just gotta move on. Or learn to deal with it.” Melissa stretches out her arms, fingers laced, cracking her knuckles. Then she props her elbow on her knee and turns to look at me. “I don’t. I move on.”

“It’s not…” But I trail off, because what the hell am I supposed to say? I can’t tell Melissa what happened today.

She wouldn’t understand.

Fuck, I don’t even understand what’s happening between me and Professor Rooke. Especially when he keeps telling me I don’t get it.

“What does it mean if a guy says a relationship isn’ttransactional?” I put it in air quotes, because it sounds so stupid when I say it out loud.

“That he’s an asshole.”

I turn to her, my arms dangling over my knees. “Do you even like guys? I haven’t heard you say a single nice thing about them.”

“I like guys.” She gives me a coy smile, then flattens her lips. “But only if they know what a clit is.” She holds up a finger. “And where to find it.”

“But only if they know what to do with it, when they find it.”

We both burst out laughing, and wow, I haven’t laughed like this in a long, long time. Was it that time Kai made me laugh so hard milkshake came out of my nose? God, that was almost a decade ago. And it was the same diner I’m working?—

Used to work at.

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