Silas
Igrab Nim’s wrist and drag her behind me as I head for the bedroom. The drive up to this house is long and winding and dangerous. Only a handful of properties up here have been developed because the cost of bringing construction equipment up here is so ridiculously expensive. But for those with deep pockets...fuck it, it’s worth it.
I’ve been here a few times before. Knox likes to throw parties here during summer break. It’s one of several properties owned by the Pellegrinos, and a classic example of the work produced off others’ backs.
I turn back to close the door, and Mason’s hand shoots out, stopping the wood an inch from the jamb. He pushes it open again, and I step back with a hard frown for him and Knox as they step inside.
“What?” Mason tips his chin up, staring at me with laughing amber eyes. “’Fraid you won’t get it up if we watch?”
I snarl at him, and Nim tries to move away, but Knox catches her around the waist and urges her back to me. “Save your energy, love,” he says. “You’ll need it.”
Mason gives me a gentle shove to the bed. “What are you waiting for? Need someone to show you how it’s done?”
I was getting hard back there when I was kissing Nim, but now I’m feeling the pressure. I’ve only ever fucked girls alone. The shit we’ve done with Nim was the first time I got close to a naked guy in any kind of sexual way.
The fact that it turned me on makes me question so many things about myself that I haven’t even jerked off for the past two weeks.
It would be so easy, letting them have her again. I’d still enjoy it—like virtual reality porn, just better—but not as much as actually taking what I want.
I want Nim. I want her more than anything, ever.
It’s not just about what happened tonight, either. Yeah, I feel like a fucking loser for being the one to let Eliza get her hands on Nim. She was under my protection when it happened, when I thought Mason and Knox had my back. But they were off together somewhere doing God knows what, and I was a fucking fool for thinking they would spare me more than a passing thought. We’re all friends now...but they were friends first. It shouldn’t matter, but obviously it does.
I should fight for this, but I don’t feel worthy of the prize I’d win.
So, instead, I grab my white dress shirt we used to cover Nim’s nakedness after getting her out of her ballgown, and I rip it open down the front. Buttons pop off, landing soundlessly on the thick carpets. She gasps, grabbing at her chest to cover her breasts. I shove her toward Knox, ripping the shirt off her shoulders as she stumbles against him.
“Yeah,” I sneer. “Show me how to fuck this little slut.”
It’s comforting and familiar, watching others enjoy shit, succeed at shit, own shit. I feel like I’ve been watching from the sidelines my entire fucking life. I gleaned my pleasure from that of others. I didn’t like it, but it was all I had. So yeah, I guess I’ve built up deep wells of resentment over the years, but fuck it if it doesn’t nourish me. As much as someone else’s dirty dishwater can.
After all, something is always better than nothing. I would know. I’ve had nothing plenty of times before.
There’s a look in Mason’s eyes, like he’s disappointed with me or something. I ignore him, pretend it’s condescension I see instead. Even Knox hesitates, frowning like he doesn’t understand what game I’m playing.
Don’t they fucking get it by now?
This isn’t a fucking game for me. It never was. Up there in their ivory towers, they’re so distanced by money and influence that nothing can touch them. I’m knee-deep in the muck, and I feel everything.
Used to, anyway.
After Lorenzo, things changed. Before I knew about him, about what he did, I honestly thought people like Mason and Knox were just as superior as they acted. I know now that they have shitty lives too...but all that money and power cocoon them from genuine pain.
It must.
So they can act all surprised and shit, but they know this is how it works. The world is theirs for the taking...and I’m here for whatever scraps they choose to toss me.
But as soon as Knox grabs Nim’s jaw and kisses her, my methodology unravels. Yes, this should be how it works, but goddamn it if I don’t feel like I’m boiling under my skin.
At first I think it’s jealousy, then I realize it’s need. But I push it back like I always have. And I watch them taking their fill, like I always will.
Nim lets out a breathless pant as Knox urges her backward, their mouths locked in a furious kiss that only deepens when the back of her knees slam into the foot of the bed. The canopy shakes a little, those lace curtains shivering before going still. Knox pushes down on Nim’s shoulders, forcing her to take a seat on the edge of the bed. His dick is already tenting the front of his boxers, and I look away when he takes it out.
Mason is watching me with a frown. He’s got a hand over his junk, like it has a mind of its own and he’s holding it back. When Knox groans over by the bed, I know it’s because Nim’s wrapped her lips around his cock.
I turn and head for the door.
It slams closed in my face, Mason’s big hand flat against the wood. I feel the heat of his body to my side, and when he speaks, my hackles rise. “Going somewhere?”