Page 78 of Snake

Silas

Is this supposed to be music? The fuck am I even doing out here? Yeah, it feels nice to have Nim close and not glaring bloody murder at me. But until a second ago, I was convinced I’d never forgive her.

I can still hear the kids in the cafeteria laughing and making those awful sounds as they watched me jerking off to horse porn. My face is set in a scowl as I stare down at the top of Nim’s head.Knox did her hair up nicely tonight. It’s one of her best features, but you wouldn’t think she knows or cares because she hardly ever pays attention to it.

We shuffle around in a slow circle, and I find myself listening to the song. Some guy crooning about a girl following his lead. A girl, beautiful and sweet. Well, that sums up Nim to a tee.

Before she tried to destroy my life, of course.

But as pissed as I am with her, it’s more about her betrayal than anything else. I’ll recover from this like I’ve recovered from so many other things in my life. But I don’t know if I’ll ever look at her the same way again.

I hold her a little tighter and feel her tremble for a moment before clutching me back. God, but she smells good. I suddenly get why people get hard-ons for such a stupid thing—shuffling around in a circle listening to crappy love songs. I haven’t been this close to Nim and not been fingering her, or eating her out.

It feels...strange. But in a good way. Even when I think about the fact that I haven’t fucked her like the others, in this moment I couldn’t care about that. Maybe it’s because right now, nothing else matters. No one else really exists. If I close my eyes—not that I will—then everything will disappear and it’ll just be Nim and me.

Sometimes I wish I could do that.

Surrender.

Allow myself to be vulnerable, even for a second.

But that’s what weak men do.

I could never stoop to their level...could I?

It’s so fucking tempting right now. To lose myself in this moment, and just be a fucking kid. A boy with a beautiful, sweet girl in his arms, spinning around each other like we’re the earth and the moon. Mortally bound, inextricably linked.

I scan those onlookers on the fringes of the dance floor. It’s getting rowdy out there, I can hear it. Soon this slow dancing bullshit will stop and they’ll start playing some real music. EDM, psytrance. Pupils will dilate and inhibitions will disappear. That’s when the party truly begins.

So why can’t I steal just a minute, Nim and me, in this quiet? In this bubble of sweet surrender? Knox and Mason have my back—they always do, even though I don’t like to admit it.

Verses of the song resonate with me. That we’re just kids, dancing in the dark, her in my arms...

My eyes shutter half-closed, then all the way.

...saw you in that dress. I don’t deserve this...

The people fade. The pressure of all those eyes on me. I can’t hear their mocking anymore. Can’t feel them judging me every second of every day. Weighing me, finding me wanting.

Like this, with Nim in my arms, I feel worthy. Fuck it...I almost feel normal.

The song ends, and I try to pull away from Nim, but she just clings tighter. I look down, and she looks up. God, how badly I want to kiss her. Her eyes are bright, glittering in the lights as she searches my face.

Then she goes onto her toes and tilts her head back. Her lips part, plump and ripe, begging for a kiss. I close the distance with a sigh, my eyes sliding shut.

I feel so conspicuous, but after a few seconds I lose myself in the taste and feel of Nim’s mouth against mine. Her soft breasts against my chest. She’s struggling to stay on her toes, so I scoop her up.

Fuck...I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way about someone. I’d have happily stayed in the shadows tonight, glaring at the dance floor and muttering about the idiots spinning around like lunatics on the beat of some commercial, over-hyped bullshit song.

But it’s so different with Nim. She breaks down the thick walls I built to keep intruders out and puts a blowtorch to my cynical steel heart.

This is the happiest I’ve ever been. I feel giddy. I feel transcendent. Goddamn it, I want to kidnap her and—

Nim gasps, her lips yanking away from mine.

Shit, what happened? Did I stand on her foot? My eyes fly open and lock with Nim’s shocked gaze. The tendons in her neck are standing out. Her fingertips dig into my shoulders like she’s trying to claw her way back to me, but can’t.

...Because Eliza has a hold of her braid and is pulling Nim’s head back so hard that tears are forming in Nim’s eyes.

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