Page 34 of Brutal Prince

“When I got to the house, she was on the sidewalk. Barely coherent. She insisted I drive her home, and that’s all I could get out of her.”

“So you don’t know what happened?” I ask, my ears starting to buzz the longer Briar stares at me. The guy to his left starts talking to him, but he doesn’t bother breaking eye contact with me.

“There were rumors, of course.” Addy reaches the end of her drink, and the rattle of her straw finally allows me to tear my eyes away from Briar.

“But I mean, you must have asked. Didn’t she say?” I lean a little closer. Addy’s eyes are too bright, as if she’s holding back tears. “Addy?” I lay a hand on her arm, and she flinches before jerking away from my touch. “What is it?”

“All we have are rumors,” she says woodenly, shaking her can as if wondering why it was empty.

When she looks at me, my stomach twists with dread. “Why?” I breathe. “Did she leave town or something?”

Addy shakes her head, her mouth a tight, trembling line. “Jess killed herself.”

* * *

I zoneout during Environmental Sciences as I try to piece together Addy’s cryptic conversation.

There was a party.

Everyone got drunk.

Addy left.

The next day — but only at noon — her friend calls her to get her.

She’s hysterical.

That night, she commits suicide.

Round and round my thoughts go. Where they’ll stop, nobody knows.

When the bell rings signaling home time, I notice for the first time that the level of giggling and hushed whispers in the class has grown. I turn to look to the side, and feel something shift in my hair.

I sigh, reach up, and cringe inwardly when I touch a cold spitball lodged in my hair.

One of many, it turns out. I stay behind, picking the offending gobs from my hair, staring at everyone who walks past in an effort to narrow down my suspects.

And then one of Briar’s friends, dark hair and dark eyes, the one who’d been sitting beside him at lunch, saunters past wearing a big, fake grin.

When I scowl at him, he begins tonguing his cheek in imitation of an obviously squint girl giving a sideways blowjob.

I throw him the finger, but that just makes him and everyone around him burst out laughing. By the time I get all the spitballs from my hair, all I want to do is go home and crash.

I drag myself to my junker and sit for a few moments in the driver’s seat, counting up all my fuck-ups for the day. A sharp rap to my window startles me out of the exhaustive list.

Addy’s standing by my window, head cocked as if impatient for me to roll down the window.

“Hi,” I say sheepishly, giving her a weak smile.

She leans her elbows on the window ledge. “Tomorrow will be better.”

I squint up at her. “Why are you being so nice to me?”

Her smile is a touch nostalgic. “Because I was once the new girl. I know how much it sucks. It helps having someone on your side.”

“Jessica?” I venture, my mouth pulling to the side.

Addy nods, and gives me a sad smile. Then she reaches into the car and squeezes my shoulder. “But I also know it gets better.”

When I look up at her, her smile is warm and friendly. “Just take it one day at a time, and you’ll do fine.”

I have an overwhelming urge to tell her about the woods, but I can already feel she wants to change the subject away from Jess. This is the worst time to mention anything about what happened between me and Briar.

Instead of making an ass of myself and getting Addy all worked up, I could try being her friend.

So I smile at her, and I let her think that her words are all the encouragement I need to make it through the day.

I guess she’s right, in a way. I’ll just take it one day at a time. When I close my eyes at night, I’ll be cleaning the slate.

Tomorrow will be a new day, right, Mom?

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