Page 150 of Brutal Prince

But it’s never seemed right.

Briar feels right. But that hallway didn’t.

Because Addy wasn’t there with her cellphone camera, duh.

I shake away the thought.

That’s not it. I don’t want my first time — consenting or otherwise — to be up against a hall in someone’s house.

Admittedly, I wasn’t expecting roses and fucking champagne, but…

Fuck that — I wasn’t expecting any of this. Not Briar’s passion. Not his animalistic urgency. Not the stutter of fear in my chest.

I know it will hurt. That’s not it.

The fact that Briar will break me…that’s it.

I don’t know if I want someone like him to be my first. Yes, he ticks all my boxes. Yes, he’s gorgeous as fuck and knows my own body almost — but not quite — as well as I do…

Am I a stupid romantic for thinking there’d be more? That there’d be love and devotion and some kind of commitment; the most kids our age can ever promise each other?

My hand folds around mom’s necklace.

You are an idiot, Indi. You’re weak, and sentimental, and you don’t deserve to lose your v-card on a rose petal scattered bed at some hotel. You had what you wanted. The perfect camera angle, a brightly lit space. Addy was moments away—

No. Marcus was moments away.

I stagger to a halt, and lean against the closest wall. I’m in the kitchen, and a few people are lingering here already. Some look up at my arrival, most don’t. That’s because they’re making out, zoning out, or purging, but I can’t hold any of those things against them.

After all, we’re just kids. This is the kind of shit we get up to when our parents are away. In this case, it’s the kind of shit Dylan lets other kids get up to in his house when his parents are away.

And then I see Briar.

He’s staring at me, smoking a cigarette like his life depends on it.

I’ve barely had more than two seconds to process anything since I’ve stepped past that red rope at the front door. And now, caught in this moment, I take my time to drink him in.

Screw that — he looks good enough to eat in his slim-fit tuxedo, biceps bulging against his shirt, bow tie at a roguish angle. I think his hair was meant to be slicked back tonight, but he’s obviously been pawing at it like he does, because it’s all over the fucking place.

Without realizing it, I move closer to him. At first, it’s as if I’m trying to find a quiet space in the busy kitchen. Circulating around the other kids like a leaf on the surface of a rippling river.

Briar was in the small lounge area a few steps down from the kitchen. But the closer I move to him, the closer he moves to me.

We meet on the steps, and in a second I’m against the wall again.

But this time, he doesn’t lift me up. His head is down, his mouth by my ear, and his hands are on my hips, holding me in place.

“I will be your first,” he says to me.

A shudder races through me. He touches my chin, levers my head up. “And if that’s not tonight, then I’ll wait.”

My stomach bottoms out. How the fuck could I ever have thought he was capable of anything Addy said he was? He might be rough around the edges, but Prince Briar’s only ever been—

Rough?

Cruel?

Brutal?

---