Page 40 of Counting the Stars

“He—passed out in potatoes?” Aly fights back a case of giggles.

“Yeah. I had to pull his face out and make sure his airway was clear.”

“Oh my God.” Aly loses her fight with the giggles. “I’m sorry. It’s rude to laugh, but it’s funny.”

“Go ahead.” I sigh. “I’m sure I’ll find this funny one day…maybe in like twenty years.”

“So that’s when you called Alex?” Michelle asks while Aly tries to compose herself.

“Of course. I knew he’d come to my rescue. He’s basically my knight in shining armor.” I fill the girls in on the rest of the details. I tell them about the helpful employees, how Alex swooped in to save the day, and how we got Josh safely back to his house. “That reminds me.” I look at Aly. “The next time you see Alex, ask him to see the pictures he took of Josh’s place.”

“What?” My former roommate scrunches up her nose. “Why?”

“Trust me. I’d describe it to you, but I think Alex would enjoy telling you more, and honestly, he deserves that.”

“I think this is a perfect time for cupcakes.” Michelle changes the subject.

I’m happy for the reprieve. I’ve bared my soul and my embarrassment all in a matter of minutes. I’m spent. I don’t think I have it in me to talk more about my horrible date or discuss the potential future of Alex and me. Part of me feels like jumping into a relationship with him would be themost natural thing in the world. The butterflies in my stomach haven’t stopped fluttering since that little forehead kiss back at his car. But I’m still petrified to lose him, and I’m not sure how to deal with that.

And if I’m honest with myself, it’s not just about him dying in a fire, although that would be the worst of the worst. It’s also about us not working out, us breaking up, me losing him to someone else. You name the scenario of loss and I’m worried about it. I realize how irrational all of this is, but I can’t stop myself. And I’m not sure if I’m ready to talk about that with anyone either.

All the what-ifs that go through my head are enough to scare me into my own little cocoon. But then I think back to my conversation with Miss Ruby. All that worrying is going to make me miss out on all the things I could have with Alex.

Yes, I definitely need a cupcake.

“That is one of the best things I’ve heard all morning.” I take a seat at our table while Michelle puts down a huge plate of pastries.

“Whoa!” Aly says, looking at the number of treats. “This is way more than cupcakes.”

“Yeah.” Michelle sighs. “I failed another test this week and couldn’t sleep last night. I made peanut butter cupcakes with vanilla frosting, lemon bars, white chocolate raspberry scones, and pistachio macarons.”

“Oh, man, I’m sorry about the test, but I’m excited to try these.” Aly grabs a lemon bar and puts in on her plate. “There’s no way we can eat all this. Even if the guys come over and help.”

“That’s okay,” Michelle states. “I can send Alex over to the firehouse with whatever we don’t finish.”

“That’s a great idea,” Aly gushes.

“I’ve sent him with extras before. It’s the best of both worlds,” Michelle agrees. “I get to test out new recipes and the guys down at the station get some treats.”

“Alex is off today and tomorrow,” I inform Michelle. “But I’m working tonight. I can run some stuff over to the station.” It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve brought over food for the firefighters.

“Perfect!” Michelle claps her hands. “I do have a question, if you don’t mind me asking.”

“Go for it.” I bite into a pistachio macaron. Heavens above, this girl needs to drop out of law school and open up her own bakery. I have no doubt I’d be her best customer.

“You said that after the fire, you went to live in a group home because you didn’t have any relatives to take you in?” Michelle asks, pulling me out of my sugary bliss. “I can’t imagine anyone refusing to do so.”

“It’s not that anyone refused.” I shake my head. “The only family I had were my parents and sister.”

“Wait.” Aly puts down her pastry. “You mean to tell us that you don’t know any of your relatives?”

“Nope.” I grab another macaron, choosing to focus on something sweet.

“No grandparents, aunts, or uncles?” Michelle asks.

“Not even a third cousin twice removed or whatever.”

“How is that possible?”