“I can’t sing and pee at the same time!” she shrieks likethat’sthe most outlandish thing she’s ever heard.
“Maybe I can’t sing and shower at the same time.”
“Of course you can! I hear you through the walls of my bathroom all the time.”
Huh. Our bedrooms share a wall, but it never occurred to me that our bathrooms do too. I wonder how many times we’ve taken a shower at the same time with just a few inches separating us.
“Okay, okay, let me think.” Despite my magnetic personality and dashing good looks, I actually can’t sing that well, so I opt to hum a tune instead.
“Are you humming the song to Final Jeopardy?”
“Umm…yes?”
“I can’t pee to that!”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s like a timer. I would feel like I have to finish when the song is up, and I don’t know if I can do that.”
“I’ll hum it on repeat,” I offer.
“Can’t you just sing ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’ or something?”
“Like that’s any longer?! Good God, woman! You know I’d do anything for you, but this is getting a little out of hand. It’s one thing to offer my toilet to you while I’m a mere foot away all soapy and naked as the day I was born. It’s another to make me sing so you can pee. I’m not taking requests from your bashful bladder.”
For a moment, Gabby issilent and I worry that my rant scared her off. Then the toilet flushes and the shower turns to molten lava. Without thinking, I jump out of the steamy torture chamber and come face-to-face with my tormentor.
“Oh, I’m so sorry.” She gasps. “I wasn’t thinking when I flushed the toilet. But good news! Your yelling was at the perfect volume, so I was finally able to go…and, umm…” Her voice trails off as she scans me from top to bottom.
It’s at that moment I realize I have nothing on. I bite back a smile because I know she likes what she sees.
“Ahem. My eyes are up here.”
She snaps her head up and her face flushes. “Uh…yeah…right…sorry…I wasn’t thinking. You should probably get a towel,” she stumbles on her words.
“I would,” I say calmly, “but it’s behind you.”
“Whoops.” She spins and grabs the towel off the hook. “Here you go. I’m sorry about that. I guess I’ll be leaving now.”
“Wait.” I quickly wipe myself down and wrap the towel around my waist as she tries to make a getaway. “Where are you going?”
“Back home.”
“Really? With what keys?” I walk out of the bathroom and head to my dresser to grab some clothes.
“Oh yeah. Ha-ha. That’s why I was here in the first place.”
“How quickly you forgot.” I drop my towel to put on my underwear and jeans. Could I have changed in private? Yes. But what would be the fun in that? Because right now, Gabby is standing in my doorway with her mouth gaping open, watching me intently as I throw on one of my many SBFD T-shirts. Once fully clothed, I approach her, place my hand under her chin, and lift it up to close her mouth. “Come on, let’s go get your car unlocked.”
6
Gabby
“Thank you,” I say sheepishly as Alex unlocks my car and hands me my keys for what feels like the millionth time. I’m not sure what I’m more embarrassed about, the fact that I locked my keys in my car again or that I was caught drooling over a naked Alex. My face still feels hot from seeing him fly out of the shower…and then drop his towel in his room. That man has no shame, though I wouldn’t either if I were him. Now I don’t know how to react the next time he cracks a joke about his size because the hung-like-a-horse joke he made recently was not too far off from the truth.
“I know I sound like a broken record, but when are you going to get a new car with—”
“Keyless entry,” I finish his sentence. “I know. I know, but I love Stinky.”