Page 29 of Counting the Stars

“She’s going on a date with a proctologist,” Jax blurts out, earning him another dirty look from his wife.

“Eww.” Carter winces. “I hope I never have to see one of those.”

“Oh my God, will you all just grow up?” Gabby yells at everyone and stomps out of the condo.

I run down the hall after her. “Gabby, wait!”

“What?” She turns around and folds her arms across her chest.

“I’m sorry we were making fun of your date. I’m just surprised you’re even going on one. How many times have you turned me down? You have been adamant that you don’t date and now suddenly you’ve changed your mind?”

“I can’t date you, Alex.” She looks down, avoiding any eye contact, and pushes the button for the elevator.

“Yes. You’ve told me many times. In the past, you’ve told me that you weren’t looking to get into a relationship with anyone. Now all of a sudden you’re going out with some guy who shows up out of nowhere?” I’m trying to stay calm but am failing miserably. Every nerve in my body vibrates with anger and a bit of betrayal.

“He didn’t just show up out of nowhere. We work in the same building. He seemed nice.”

The doors to the elevator open and Gabby steps on. I put my hand against the frame, preventing it from closing.

“Nice or safe?” Is that what this is all about? Maybe Jax was right when he mentioned my history with women worries her. I really haven’t been with anyone since I set my sights on Gabby, but I know my reputation precedes me. Still, Jax was just as bad (if not worse) and Aly was able to overlook his past.

“What?” She looks up, finally making full eye contact with me. There’s a sadness to her. She doesn’t want to go on this date. I can feel it.

“Are you choosing him because he’s the safe choice?”

“Alex…I…I can’t be late,” she pleads.

My heart plummets to the floor at the thought of her spending time with another man. But I can’t force her to do anything.

“Fine.” I remove my hand from the door. “Just promise me you’ll call if you need anything.”

She somberly nods as the doors close. I stay frozen in place, trying to think of what I could have done or said differently to change her mind.

The door to 312 opens. Carter sticks his head into the hallway and yells, “You coming to dinner or what?”

“No.” I don’t even bother looking at him. “You guys go ahead and eat without me. I’ve lost my appetite.”

16

Gabby

The sun is still high in the sky and the breeze flowing through my open car windows feels like a warm blanket as I pull into the restaurant’s parking lot. Summer is in full swing and it’s by far my favorite time of year. I hope this is a sign of good things to come. Seeing Alex’s reaction tonight nearly gutted me, and I almost called the whole thing off. But Alex deserves someone who can love him unconditionally, and while I want to, I just can’t.

It’s not like I haven’t tried to work past my grief. I went to counseling and even joined a support group for a short time. Maybe it was due to my young age, but I never found anyone I connected with or felt safe enough around to fully open up about my feelings. Eventually, I gave up and decided to figure out how to get through life on my own. Which brings me back to my current situation.

Parking Stinky, I scan the lot, looking for Josh’s car, and kick myself when it dawns on me that I don’t know what he drives. Thankfully, we exchanged numbersearlier, so I send him a quick text to let him know I’m here. He replies instantly, saying he’ll meet me outside. I walk toward the front of the restaurant. Its dark awning is covered with tiny fairy lights, and for a moment, it reminds me of a few weeks ago when Alex took me to count the stars. God, that felt like such a magical evening. Some nights I lie in bed and pretend I’m back there with him all snuggled up under the blankets. Once, I even typed out a text to see if we could count stars again, but then I realized I’d be leading him on and deleted it before I hit send. I’m sure I’m giving him mixed signals and that’s not fair to Alex.

“Gabby, you look stunning.” Josh interrupts my thoughts as he walks up to me and hands me a small bouquet of flowers.

“Thank you.” I politely accept the gift. Flowers—ugh. But it’s not his fault. It’s not like I announce my aversion to everyone. Aly is petrified of seafood and all things related to what goes on beneath the ocean’s surface. She uses the excuse of allergies to get by. It sounds kind of crazy, but now I wonder if I should borrow that idea. “I’m surprised you had time to get flowers. How was your meeting?”

“It ended earlier than expected.” He opens the door to the restaurant. “So I stopped by the florist and had a few drinks at the bar while waiting for you.”

I look down and fidget with the bouquet. If he got out of his meeting early, why didn’t he let me know or at least offer to pick me up? I’m sure it’s for the best this way. Alex would’ve grilled him with questions.

Josh reads the confusion written all over my face. “I hope you don’t mind. The meeting didn’t go as planned and I figured a few drinks would help me unwind before seeing you.”

“Oh.” I chew on my bottom lip. “I guess that makes sense. I’m sorry your meeting didn’t go well.”

---