Page 20 of Counting the Stars

“That’s going to be hard.” Aly snorts. “You’re gorgeous!”

“Thanks.” My cheeks heat. “What are some things that have immediately turned you off to someone?”

The girls sit quietly for a moment until Aly pipes up. “I once went on a date with a guy who pronounced the ‘L’ in salmon. That did it for me.”

“Eww.” Michelle cringes. “I don’t have much dating experience, but—oh!” She does a little jump in her seat. “I know he doesn’t like the smell of rosemary. I was cooking one day and he asked why I was using a citronella candle indoors.”

“Huh? Rosemary doesn’t smell like citronella.” I scrunch up my nose and wonder if I ever used that particular spice in my food.

“Everyone can taste and smell differently.” Aly shrugs. “Like the rest of you think cilantro tastes like mint, but Jax and I think it tastes like soap.”

“Good point.” I nod.

“You could always tell him that you decided to go vegetarian. You know how much that man likes to eat meat,” Michelle suggests.

“That would break him!” Aly chuckles. “I tried to establish Meatless Monday and Jax lost his mind.” She drops her voice, attempting to sound like her husband. “Do I look like a bunny to you?”

“Well, I guess this is a start.” I pick at my burger. I don’t have much of an appetite right now. The thought of pushingAlex away makes me queasy, but I need to protect my heart. That night when we counted the stars, I let myself imagine what it would be like to be in a relationship with him. I could picture having a little place of our own where we could cook meals together and relax by a cozy fireplace after a long day of work. We could take vacations to someplace tropical during the colder months to help chase away the winter blues. It would be so much fun to lie next to him on a sandy beach with tropical drinks in our hands.

It’s incredibly easy to envision a life with Alex because we work so well together. Yet it’s also easy to envision losing him. Picture a solemn face knocking on my door in the middle of the night and telling me he succumbed to a fire. I have no doubt he would use his dying breath to save a stranger. That’s just the kind of man he is. It’s also why I can’t fully give my heart to him. I used all my strength rebuilding my life the last time. I’m not strong enough to go through something like that again.

“Earth to Gabby.” Aly waves her hand in front of me. “Where’d you go?”

To a place that can only exist in my dreams.

“Oh, nowhere.” I try to act casual and realize it’s time for a subject change. If we continue to discuss Alex, I know the girls will innocently press for more information, and doing so will force me to relive my worst nightmare. I don’t have the strength for that, so instead, I turn my attention to Aly. “Have you chosen a theme for the baby’s nursery yet?”

“We’re thinking of going with a nautical theme.” Aly looks radiant as she takes the bait with ease. “You know, with Jax’s history in the Navy, it just feels right. I found some bedding with little anchors on it.” She claps her handstogether. “It’s so cute.”

As Aly continues to go over the décor of baby J.J.’s room, I can’t help but feel eyes on me. I take a risk and glance over at Michelle, who’s silently studying me. Aly is too distracted with baby on the brain to realize the motive behind my subject change, but it doesn’t get past the future lawyer.

My heart sinks at the thought of withholding my past from them. I never had friends like this before and didn’t plan on building close relationships with anyone. Yet it happened anyway. I swear, there’s something magical about this town, and I’m not sure what to do about it.

11

Alex

“The tapping noise is driving me crazy,” Carter says from his spot on the couch.

“Oops, sorry.” I put my pen down on the table. I didn’t even realize I was using it as a drumstick.

“You’ve been sitting over there staring at something for the past twenty minutes. What’s going on?” He stands and walks over to me.

“There’s a spot open for lieutenant.” I show him the papers I’ve been mulling over. So all the talk that’d been going on the last few weeks did come true. I figured it would. The guys I work with aren’t much for gossip.

“Wow! Is that something you want?” He takes the application from me and scans it.

“Oh yeah. I’ve always wanted to move up in the ranks. I didn’t think a position would open up this quickly, though.” I pick up my pen and begin tapping again. “I thought I had a few more years, but our captain is moving out of state and one of our lieutenants is taking his place.”

“Leaving a spot open.” Carter grabs the pen out of my hand. “How many guys are applying for the job?”

“I’m not sure.” I shake my head. “Mickelson, Smitty, and I all started around the same time, so we cancel each other out on experience. Mickelson is going through some tough times at home, so I don’t think he’ll apply. Smitty definitely wants to move up. Then there’s the possibility someone from outside the department could be hired. They don’t have to choose one of us.”

I’m excited for this opportunity, but I’m also worried how my family would deal with the news if I do get the position. In their heads, firefighting is more of a hobby than a real job. My occupation doesn’t count because I don’t go to work in a suit and tie every day. Instead of having the hands of a pencil pusher, I have calloused ones that are often tinged with various oils, soot, and ash. I don’t have assistants to dote on me every minute of the day, and did I mention I dropped out of college? Yeah, that went over like a lead balloon. At least while I was still in college, there was hope for me to get a white-collar job. The day I announced I dropped out and signed up for firefighting school was basically the start of a family war.

“Well, I say go for it,” Carter says, pulling me out of my thoughts…or potential nightmare. “You can’t be considered if you don’t apply.”

“You are so wise.” I snatch the pen back out of his hand. My roommate makes a valid point. I at least have to give it a shot. I also have to do what makes me happy. I love being a firefighter and helping others in my community. I’m proud that I can make an impact on other people’s lives. And I don’t need a fancy degree or career to do that. “Just don’t tell anyone about this yet. I don’t want to make this into a big deal, especially if there’s a good chance nothing might come of it.”

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