“Umm…good morning?” I finally squeak. He turns to look at me, giving me a full-frontal view of, well, everything. I try not to show interest, but I have the worst poker face on the planet.
“Shit!” he yells, looks down at himself, and hustles back to his bedroom. He comes back a minute later shirtless but wearing basketball shorts. “I thought you’d be at the pool by now.”
I look at the time and realize that I have been sitting here much longer than I thought.
“I was enjoying the view,” I say innocently and then my eyes go wide at the realization of what I just said. “I meant that view.” I point to the window. “Not that view.” I point to him. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that view. Seriously, it’s impressive. Good job!”Will the Earth please just open and swallow me whole?
Silence.
“Sooooo…I take it you sleep naked?”God, why do I have to be so awkward?
“Is that a problem?” He lifts his freshly brewed coffee to his lips, now looking pleased with himself.
“To each their own.” I shake my head. “I would never sleep naked, though.”
“Why do I have a feeling that your reasoning is going to sound like your fish-poop-in-the-ocean logic?”
“First of all, fishdopoop in the ocean, so I’m not saying anything untrue. Second, the reason why I would never sleep naked is because if, God forbid, there was a fire, I would probably die putting on clothes before trying to get out of wherever I was.”
“Here we go.” Jax leans his head back.
“I’m serious! With my luck, the day I decide to sleep naked will be the day there is some sort of evacuation for whatever. I will probably have to climb out a window, which would put my naked ass out on display for the world to see. Then the news stations would come and shine their bright lights on me in all my embarrassing glory, and I’ll end up as the next viral video or as a meme or something.”
More silence.
He puts his coffee cup down, walks over, and kneels in front of me so his face is level with mine. He places both hands on each side of my face; they’re extra warm from the hot coffee he’s been holding. For a moment, we are frozen, just looking into each other’s eyes. His gray eyes seem lighter compared to the storm clouds they usually mimic.
“What goes on in your mind absolutely fascinates me and scares me at the same time.”
“Glad I can entertain you.” I swallow.
“It’s more than entertaining, but I don’t know how to describe what it does to me.” He shakes his head. I realize there’s more to that statement, and I only wish I were brave enough to find out what it is.
The alarm on my phone sounds, warning me that I have about fifteen minutes to get ready for work.Saved by the bell.
“Looks like you get the lane to yourself this morning. I have to get ready for work,” I say, acting like this is a normal morning and the heat building between the two of us has nothing to do with the simple fact we’re attracted to each other…a lot.
His hands remain on my face, but he breaks his gaze for a moment. “Have a good day at work, Aly.” He places a gentle kiss on my forehead that sends a fluttering sensation right down to my toes. He rises and walks away into his bedroom.
I get up and rinse out my mug, trying to decipher these feelings that only happen when Jax is around. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way about anyone, and of course, I pick the guy who doesn’t do relationships.
After I get dressed and head to my car, I dial up my bestie and put her on Bluetooth. I tell her this morning’s story and am so glad my love life is entertaining to her.
“You said ‘good job’?” Jess howls through the speakers.
“I’m going to have to move to another state…again!” I groan as I turn out of the condo’s parking lot and head towards work. I can still feel the heat in my cheeks from this morning and I know I will be replaying that faux pas in my head for years to come.
“But then he kissed you?”
“It was a super quick forehead kiss, so it was probably nothing.”
“Well, you did compliment his manhood.” She is laughing so hard, she’s practically gasping for air. “I mean, you’re like a dream come true. What guy wouldn’t want to wake up and have his junk complimented?”
“You are terrible! And I didn’t specifically refer to that part of his anatomy. I was kind of complimenting the whole package.”
“Oh, God, I’m gonna pee my pants if you keep this up! Although that’s not that hard to do these days; I mean, who would think a baby the size of a raspberry would put so much pressure on my bladder?”
Jess recently found out that she and her husband are expecting a baby early next year. I’m happy for her, but part of me is also jealous. I have always wanted a large family and at this point in my life, it looks like I might have no family at all. I know I have options; I’m still young enough to go to a sperm bank or maybe even adopt, but it won’t be the same as having someone go through the journey with you. A pit forms in my stomach; instead of checking off the boxes of my life plan, I’m scratching them out and moving backwards.