Page 11 of Forever My Boy

I shake my head and give her a watery eyed smile.

“It is.” She puts her hand over mine. It’s calming but doesn’t make me feel any better. I smile again, thank her, and take the brown paper bag that is going to either change my life forever or mock me for overreacting.

On my way back to campus, all I can think about is Liam and what he’s going to say if I have to tell him I’m pregnant. His parents are going to lose their ever-loving minds, and mine . . . well, my dad isn’t a huge fan of Liam’s so I can’t imagine he’ll be okay.

Of course, this is assuming there is a baby and we decide to keep the baby. Liam and I are young, he has his whole career ahead of him, and I want to finish school. Neither of us are ready to be parents. Although, we’d at least be together. Surely, the school would give Liam off-campus housing or something. It’s not like we could raise a baby in a dorm room.

When I get back on campus I head to the nearest bathroom in my building. Thankfully, no one is in there, which gives me a little bit of privacy. In the stall, I follow the instructions, pee on the stick and then wait. No one has to force me not to look at the stick. This is the only test in life I hope I fail.

I have to do something while I wait though. After gathering my things, I walk toward the other side of the bathroom and slip into a shower stall. There’s a mirror in there and after setting my things down, and carefully avoiding a glance at the test, I stand in the mirror and look at myself.

To me, I look the same. There isn’t anything noticeably different. That is until I cup my breasts the way Liam does when we’re together and hiss at the contact. They hurt, which only exacerbates the thoughts in my mind.

“This isn’t good,” I say to my reflection. “None of this is good.”

I glance at my watch and see that five minutes have passed. Slowly, I move my stuff out of the way so I can see what the test says. Before I even fully look, my hand covers my mouth to stifle my cries. Tears stream in hot angry waves down my face, wetting my shirt. The sound coming from me isn’t human and it’s laced with fear.

“Hey, are you okay in there?” someone calls out.

I wipe my face with the back of my hands. “Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks.”

I’m anything but fine.

Gathering my things, I leave the bathroom, praying that whoever is in there doesn’t know me. I don’t want to have to explain myself and I don’t want sympathy. The whole “everything is going to be okay,” mantra doesn’t feel like it’s going to work for me right now.

Back in my room, I try calling Liam again, but he doesn’t answer. I hang up and try again but get the same damn message. I want to scream.

The door opens and Katelyn walks in. She sees me and her eyes go wide. “What’s wrong?”

This is one of those Band-Aid moments where you just rip it off and pray for the best.

“I’m pregnant,” I tell her. “At least, I’m pretty sure I am. I’m late and took a test, and it’s positive, and . . .” I sit on the edge of my bed and look at her. She says nothing and I imagine she’s running the same scenario through her mind that I am—this isn’t how Liam and I planned things.

Wetness coats my cheeks. I let the tears fall. There isn’t anything I can do about them, the lump in my throat, or the tightening of my heart so why bother try to stop any of it. I fucked up. Eighteen, in college and pregnant.

My parents are going to kill me.

Maybe not my mom so much, but my dad for sure.

“Have you told Liam?”

I shake my head. “I called, but he didn’t answer. They lost today so I think he’s just dealing with that. And this isn’t something you leave on voicemail, ya know? Do you think I should go see him?”

Katelyn shrugs. “I mean, yes you should, but also, I think you should tell him as soon as you talk to him because he needs to know.”

She’s right. Over the phone it is.

“He’s going to be so angry.”

Katelyn nods. “Liam loves you. Sure, he’ll be pissed at first but it’ll all work out. Maybe he can transfer here?”

I shake my head. “He’s too good for this school. No offense.”

“None taken because I know he his. So is Mason, but here we are.”

Katelyn comes over and sits next to me. She wraps her arm around me, and my head falls onto her shoulder. I sob. Cry an ocean of tears for this colossal fuck up. I can’t believe this has happened.

“Please don’t tell anyone. I need to figure things out and really want Liam to know first.”

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