Page 20 of Forever My Boy

I nod and work through more pain. He grabs my hand, holding it the way he has since Liam left. I cry out and my other hand grips his gown.

“Hey, come on now. Inhale and exhale. Breathe through the pain.” His voice is calm in my ear.

“I’m trying,” I say, out of breath and ready to give up. This is harder than I thought it would be.

“I know you are,” he says calmly.

When the contraction subsides, I lean back and pant. Katelyn gives me ice chips which do help. She uses a cold cloth on my forehead, cooling me down. I glance at Mason, who looks scared.

“You deserve to be in here unless you don’t want to be.”

“Nowhere else I’d rather be,” Mason says.

“Another one is coming, sweetie,” Katelyn warns as she looks at the monitor. She and Mason help me into sitting position and talk me through the contraction. They’re quicker now, stronger. Everything hurts.

Including my heart. Liam should be in Mason’s place.

“Can’t you give her something?” Mason asks the nurse, but I’m shaking my head.

“I can do this,” I tell him.

“I know you can,” he says. “You’re one of the strongest women I know. And I’m here to be your punching bag. I just can’t tolerate biting.”

I start to laugh but the humor doesn’t last long as another contraction has me screaming my head off.

“All right, it’s time,” the nurse says, and then she disappears.

“Where in the hell did she go?” Mason asks.

“To get a birthing team and the doctor,” my mom tells him.

My doctor comes in, smiling like the sun’s shining and it’s going to be a beautiful day. I imagine it will be once I hold my baby.

“All right, Josie. On your next contraction, you’re going to give me a big push, and we’re going to help this baby come into the world. Are you ready?”

Ournext contraction? I wasn’t aware others are feeling them right along with me.

I nod as a blood curdling scream escapes.

“I got you,” Mason says to me. “I’m not going anywhere.”

I can’t help but start to cry. Everything hurts. Every damn piece of me is in pain. I cling to Mason and wail while my mom and Katelyn do their best to comfort me.

“I can’t do this. I can’t. Oh God, make it stop.” My head shakes back and forth. I want drugs. I want this all to stop.

“Hey, hey. None of that,” Mason says. “Look at me.”

He lifts my head forcing me to look at him. “Remember the prize at the end of all this? All this pain is going to be worth it. I promise you. Have I ever lied to you?”

I somehow manage to shake my head.

“And I’m not now. You’re going to have a baby any minute now, and they’re going to love you the minute they lay their eyes on you. You have done this for nine months now. You just have to finish. One big push, okay? Just give me one more, and then that dude down there will put your baby in your arms, and it’ll all be over.”

“Okay,” I cry out.

“Yeah, we can do this. Come on now.”

I need Mason’s strength. He holds me up and speaks words of encouragement as I bear down for another push.

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