Page 65 of Another Postcard

“Your sister is here, would you like to see her?”

“No, thank you. Mommy doesn’t visit when Brooklynn is here.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to ignore the burning behind my lids.

“She brought you a present, are you sure you don’t want to see her for just a minute?”

“I guess,” she grumbled.

Dr. Arnold opened the door wide and I plastered on a fake smile as I stepped inside. Baylee was sitting in a rocking chair by a window that over looked a garden, reading a book. She was dressed casually in jeans and a pink T-shirt, her growing hair tied back in a tiny ponytail. She looked like a typical nineteen-year-old girl, but fresh and innocent, like the Baylee I remembered. The room was surprisingly homey, with pretty art on the walls, colorful bedding, and normal furniture. You wouldn’t know it was a hospital or basically a prison cell. Nor would you notice the specific absence of any items she could hurt herself or someone else with.

Her face turned my way and her brown eyes perused me from head to toe. “Hey, sweet girl,” I said softly. I reached into my bag and pulled out a book of Madlibs. “I thought we could do a couple of these when I visit.”

She held out her hand and I walked forward, setting them in her hand. A small smile cracked her straight face when she looked at the booklet. “Thank you.” Then she set them on the table next to her and opened up her book, effectively dismissing me.

“You’re welcome,” I whispered. “I’ll come back soon, okay?”

“Okay,” she responded carelessly.

I debated giving her a hug, but. . .I could pretend all I wanted, the truth was, I was scared to get too close to her.

I backed up a few steps, then pivoted and crossed the short distance to the door. Dr. Arnold smiled and followed me out, making sure the door latched correctly before facing me. “Believe it or not, this is progress for her. When she first came back from Italy, she was angry almost constantly. She’s been slowly reversing the ratio and the fact that she took your present is a good sign.”

Nodding, I rubbed my chest, trying to stop the ache in my heart. “Thanks. I’ll try to come back in a few days. When do you expect her to be ready to transfer to a full-time care facility?”

“Next week,” she answered as she walked beside me down the hall. We talked a for a few more minutes until we reached her office. “It was nice to meet you, Brooklynn. I’m happy to know Baylee has you.”

“I’ll call you to schedule her transfer.” I shook her hand and scurried from the hospital. Once outside, I bent over, clutching my chest and trying to suck in deep breaths. After the clamp on my chest had eased, I stood and looked at the city hustling all around me, New Yorkers doing what they do best. Moving from one place to the next as quickly as possible, completely focused on their destination, or lost in their music, on their phones, or simply wandering. It was familiar and steady, soothing the tear in my shell. I hopped on the subway and went home.

After a lot of research, I chose the facility I thought was best for Baylee. And, it was in Brooklynn, not so far from me. It was extremely expensive but I was determined to make it work. I had put feelers out for studio jobs, but so far no one seemed to need me. I was damn fucking good at what I did, so it made absolutely no sense. I put the worry aside for that moment while I dealt with getting Baylee settled.

Penny and I met at the hospital the day they moved Baylee. I stayed in the background, unwilling to upset her during the transition. She shouted happily when she saw Penny and went running to her for a hug. Another slice of pain ripped through my chest.

Over the next few weeks, I started to visit Baylee for a few minutes a couple of times a week. At one point, I even made her laugh. My visits with her were the only time I couldn’t keep every emotion shoved behind a wall. As much as I wanted to keep my heart protected from loving anyone, I’d never stopped loving her. No matter what, she was my sister and I would always love her. It also gave her the power to deeply wound me and some days, her indifference hurt. A lot.

When I approached the facility about financial options, they informed me that Baylee’s care had been paid in full for the next five years and that they had instructions on who to contact when the time was up.Fucking Levi.I was grateful, don’t get me wrong. But the feelings that came with it, they were incredibly unwelcome.

Demo day for the house arrived before I knew it. It was a good thing the realtor had sold the land because I’d only managed to book a handful of studio gigs, even commercial and voice over opportunities seemed to dry up. I needed the money from the sale and it wouldn’t go through until the house had been leveled and cleared away.

I dashed into Baylee’s home, shaking off the rain and checked in before heading back to the activities room. She wasn’t there, so I stopped to talk to her nurse for a few minutes and found out Baylee was in her room. When I reached the small but pleasant space, I peeked in to make sure she wasn’t taking a nap. She was standing at one of her two windows, watching the rain so I knocked softly.

“Hey, sweet girl,” I called softly, so I wouldn’t startle her.

She whipped around and screamed, “GET OUT! GET OUT! I HATE YOU! YOU TOOK EVERYBODY FROM ME! I WANT MOMMY! GET OUT!”

I stumbled backward from the force of her anger and slammed the door shut before taking off at a run. My protective walls came crumbling down. Outside, I stood in the rain and sobbed as pain radiated through my body. I missed my sweet sister, I missed Levi, I missed everyone so fucking much.

Unexpectedly, I realized there was something I needed to do. I pulled out my phone and found an hourly rental car in a garage nearby and booked it. Ten minutes later I’d picked it up and was on the road. Two hours after that, I pulled up to a place I’d hoped never to see again. The rain hadn’t come this far north yet, so the demo crew was there working. I sat and watched as they worked. When the roof caved in and the structure fell in on itself, I was done. I started the car and headed to the other place I’d never expected to visit again.

The black gates were open, but with the weather coming, the cemetery grounds were pretty deserted. I remembered exactly how to get to their plots and as I pulled to a stop and parked, I second-guessed what the fuck I was doing there. Determined, I opened the door and alighted from the car. I walked around the the front and onto the grass, trudging forward until I found the graves I was looking for.

Marie Hawk

An angel in heaven

.

I almost snorted.If you say so.

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