Page 20 of Lured By the Cartel

Fuck, why did his soft-spoken rebuke sting sharper than physical blows? Why did it cut deeper, wound tighter, chokingharder? Because he spoke true, raw honesty. Because he saw me clearly, openly, and honestly. Unfiltered. Unjudging. Unlike anyone else ever had.

Goddammit, I hated him for it all—for forcing confrontations when I craved escape, for stripping away my carefully constructed lies, and for being ruthlessly, maddeningly right.

"Lucas,"I started, turning towards him fully, desperate to bridge the gap widening between us. Words clogged my throat, tangling together, refusing release. Frustration mounted, fueling the anger simmering beneath the surface. Why couldn't I speak properly around him? Around anyone lately?

"It's not-"

"Not what?"He prompted gently, stepping closer, concern replacing the initial shock. God, he was too good, too kind, too pure for this world. Too pure for me.

"Nothing,"I muttered, looking away guiltily. Admitting fault wasn't something I excelled at. Especially when faced with disapproval clear in his eyes.

"But you should-"

"I know,"I snapped sharply, cutting him off mid-sentence. Dammit, why did he have to be so understanding, so forgiving? Made everything harder somehow.

He sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair."Then do something about it,"he urged softly, gesturing vaguely towards the crumpled form at our feet."Before it's too late."

Right. The informant. Almost forgotten amidst the chaos swirling within me. Time to prioritize again. To focus on necessities first, and emotions later.

Reaching for my phone, I dialed emergency services swiftly, barking orders succinctly once connected. They'd arrive soon enough; until then...

I glanced up at Lucas, finding him watching me closely, evaluating every move with attentive eyes. Approval shone brightly in those dark irises, the approval I didn't deserve yet craved fiercely regardless. Approval I yearned to earn, to keep, to cherish forevermore.

"Thank you,"he murmured quietly, breaking the silence that was gradually building between us."For doing the right thing."

My chest tightened painfully, emotion threatening to overwhelm all rational thought. Right thing? Was there even such a concept anymore? Especially at this moment? Or had I lost claim long ago, drowning under waves of violence, bloodshed, and brutality?

"Don't thank me,"I rasped roughly, clearing my throat against the sudden lump forming there."Not yet anyway."

Confusion flickered across his features briefly before comprehension dawned, followed swiftly by determination hardening his resolve. Good. At least we understood each other somewhat at this moment. I couldn't help but wonder how long that was going to last.

"We'll talk later,"he announced firmly, nodding once sharply. Decision made, apparently. One I respected, admired, envied even.

"Later,"I agreed gruffly, watching as he turned away, leaving me alone amidst the carnage wrought by my own hands. Alone with thoughts screaming louder than any external noise could drown out.

Because no matter how much I wanted to believe otherwise, the reality remained unchanged—I failed him tonight. Failed spectacularly. And the worst part? He knew it too.

Chapter 10

Lucas

Morning sunlight streamed in through the window, casting golden rays upon my bed, rousing me from slumber slowly. Stretching languidly, I yawned widely, blinking blearily against the brightness invading the room. Another day began, another routine ready to unfold.

Yet today felt... different. Off somehow. Not quite right. As if my body anticipated changes looming ahead. What kind of changes those were going to be, I had no idea.

Shrugging off the blankets, I swung my legs over the edge of the mattress, planting my bare feet onto the cool hardwood floor. A shiver ran down my spine, goosebumps prickling my flesh despite the warmth permeating the air. Weird. Never happened this early before.

Padding towards the en suite bathroom, I paused mid-step, frowning at the sudden wave of nausea crashing over me. What the hell? Grabbing onto the doorframe, I leaned heavily, panting through clenched teeth until the sensation passed. Jesus Christ, where did that come from?

Stumbling inside, I braced myself against the countertop, staring intently into the mirror above the sink. Dark circles hung heavy beneath my eyes, accentuating their usual size, which was weird because sleep wasn't a problem for me. Pale skin stretched taut across my cheekbones, emphasizing the sharp angles usually softened by my youthful fullness. I looked gaunt, almost sickly. When did that begin to happen? No idea, I thought.

Water splashed loudly as I cupped handfuls beneath the tap, bringing them up to splash against my face. Cold shocked my system for a moment, jolting my senses awake. Better. Now, maybe I could think straight again.

But instead of clarity, confusion reigned supreme. Because now, my stomach churned violently, threatening rebellion. Bile rose bitterly, burning my throat raw. Fuck! How could I possibly throw up without warning signs beforehand? It never happened like this!

Rushing back into the bedroom, I barely made it to the wastebasket beside my bed before emptying the contents. Violent retching racked my frame, tears streaming freely down my cheeks. Goddamn, what was happening here?

Once done, I collapsed weakly onto the floor, gasping for breath, wiping the sweat from my brow. My body felt alien suddenly, foreign, and unpredictable. Like someone else inhabited my skin, controlled my organs, and dictated my actions. Scary thought, really.

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