Page 68 of Happy After All

“Why are you so vague?” I pound the table lightly.

“Because I can’t ... I can’t talk about this one.”

I scowl. “Are you afraid you’ll scare your fragile boy muse away, or is it actually a contractual thing?”

“Neither. I just don’t want to talk about this while it’s a work in progress.”

“But you’re involving me.”

“Not really.”

“You invited me.”

“You didn’t accept.”

“Okay, I accept. And I feel involved.”

“Your feelings aren’t facts, Amelia. I don’t know if anyone has ever told you that before.” He says that in a totally teasing way, but honestly, he has no idea how well I know that.

Enough that it dampens a little bit of my enthusiasm.

But he’s asking me to go with him to Joshua Tree, of all places, and I’m more than happy to drop everything to make that happen.

“I just need to do a couple of things at the motel.”

“What about your word count?”

I lift a brow and make direct eye contact with him. “I left my hero sweating, and shaking, with a hard-on. It would be very mean of me not to continue the scene today.”

His eyes change, and he leans forward, a conspiratorial look on his face. “I can relate to him.”

“You’re the one who left me last night.”

“I’m sorry about that,” he says. “I had to ...” He looks away from me, and I can tell he doesn’t want to finish that sentence. “I had to think about some things.”

“Oh.” My response sounds flat. I feel flat. I don’t know what he means by that. I don’t understand why sex with me required great contemplation after, but worse, he doesn’t want to share it with me.

“I don’t know how to explain it,” he says, his voice rough.

That does it. Things click into place for me.

Heartbreak.I get it.

I get it, because it echoes inside me. Not present heartbreak, but the past.

Trying to sort it out and figure out who you are in the present.

It’s way too familiar to me.

I could push for his story.

I already know he’s not coming back, is the thing. I already know that this will end. So what I also know is that now, I want things to be good between us.

I want us to be my new bubble. The bubble Rancho Encanto can’t be because Chris is invading it.

I want to be his bubble.

I get the feeling he doesn’t have one.

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