Page 57 of Happy After All

My heart has been shattered in just so many pieces that what I managed to do when I moved to Rancho Encanto was take those pieces and put them back together. Like a stained-glass suncatcher you might find in any of the gift shops around town. Beautiful, but not in its original condition.

It made me feel strong then. Even more confident. I wanted to shake my fist at the sky. The world could do its worst. The world already had. What did I have to be afraid of?

This is a turning point. In my healing, in my progress.

I have been here licking my wounds all this time. Suddenly it’s like I’m okay with them. I don’t need to protect them anymore.

I don’t need to protectme.

“You could hurt me if you wanted,” I say, taking a step toward him.

He makes a noise in the back of his throat that sounds pained. Like I’m the one doing the hurting.

He wants me. He could stand there making proclamations about how he’s worried about me, how he’s dangerous and bad for me and whatever else, but he wants me.

The man looks like he’s in pain for wanting me.

I can’t remember the last time that happened. I’m not sure it ever has.

I know for a fact that I’ve never wanted anyone like this before. It’s not just sex. It’s something more. Like now that I’ve found this well of sexual desire, of confidence, it’s changed me. Turned me into the kind of sexual being I’ve never been.

Maybe this is who I was destined to be. A wild woman out in the desert.

Free and unfettered.

The kind of woman who might stand naked underneath the moon. Who would have one-night stands if it suited her.

I feel giddy at the thought.

But only if he doesn’t reject me.

I don’t think he will, though.

I don’t think he’s strong enough.

That makes me feel powerful.

“Kiss me,” I say. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for nearly three years. I thought you were going to do it when you grabbed that stupid power strip from me. So kiss me now. You’ve already waited too long.”

I don’t expect him to move so quickly.

Fluid and without warning. He wraps his arm around my waist, and I can’t breathe.

I’m held flush against the hard muscles of his body, and I never want him to let go of me. He hasn’t even kissed me yet. But he’s going to.

It’s not in my head, and I don’t think it ever was.

When he closes the distance between us, I’m undone. I curl my fingers around the fabric of his shirt, hoping that’s enough to hold me up. It isn’t. Thankfully, his arms are strong around me as his mouth makes contact with mine. As he kisses me, firm and sure, it’s definitely the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced in my life.

His tongue sweeps over my bottom lip, and I gasp, opening for him. His tongue slides against mine, and I wonder if I’m going to set a record. Because suddenly, I feel everything, everywhere. My breasts are heavy, my nipples tight, I’m wet between my legs, and I feel close, so close to coming I can barely believe it.

I’m not fast. Historically.

Pleasure, for me, is a complex mechanism. I need time and space, and the chance to get my mind in the right place. He’s in charge. Of everything. Of what I feel and how intensely I feel it. Of where my mind goes. It’s him. Everything. My every thought, my every fantasy, right in this moment—everything is him.

He kisses me like there is nothing else he would rather do. Maybe like there’s nothing else he even knows how to do.

He kisses me like it’s his job. I kiss him back like I’ll die if I don’t.

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